Blogger ate my original post

omg, my super duper long post was eaten up by blogger and trust me to be too lazy to bother to type it out again. so here it is in point form.

24 dec
had boon tong kee chicken for lunch. i have not eaten so much chicken in one day ever. no tennis cos of the rain. mahjong all the way from 8pm to 4am the next day.

25 dec
slept till 12, had yummy beef ball noodles for lunch, baked a cake without flour. because i don't have a electronic beater, some serious muscle work was done. had dinner at uncle chong kiat's mom place. portsdown road. saw these two exact vintage alfa romeos. i'm such a sucker for vintage cars and fast cars.

26 dec
went bowling with the lims, koks and andrea's friend bill. hahha! jarren had the highest score of 134 of cos with the help of gutter ramps. took a really epensive cab ddown to nicole's place then to mediacorp. again most of the girls performance was a BIG YAWN and the guys was definately much more entertaining. had an encounter with a really annoying person whom we out of the kindness of our hearts toook in but damn karma must really not be on nic and my side. poor weijian was just caught in the middle.

wells, christmas has gone and 2007 is just round the corner.

resolutions? what's the point.

quote of the day?
But for now, let me say -
Without hope or agenda -
Just because it's Christmas -
And at Christmas you tell the truth -

--Mark from Love Actually

hey dumb dumb

okay awesome.

i just watched a night at the musuem hahah! its hilarious! totally. hahahah... "hey dumb dumb, where's my gum gum? oooooh you better run run from attila the hun hun." hahahs! it get stuck in your head. super. hahaha!

anyway, christmas is round the corner. not like i celebrate it anyway. but yeah. anyhow's the holiday is just perfect for me. no work and i'm happy sleep ins!!! hahahas! no work for me till the 28th. okay can't beat yawen's one week and sarima's 2 weeks but it still is something. better than nothing. lols! oh wells.

so then. lunch and tennis tmr. hahahs. tennis tennis again. and hmmm dinner after that. wells wells. what else am i going to do. without prison break. bahhs. until 22nd jan. ooooh hope my bro gets an autograph. i'd be sooo jealous. SOOOO SOOO jealous. but still. omg i haven't said this in a long time...

WENTWORTH EARL MILLER IS SOOO DAMN HOT!

ahhaha okay i'm happy. i wanna go melbourne on the 28th. i wanna go i wanna go i wanna go.

BAHS!

so much so...

i must say, i'm one lazy bum.

okay that aside. over the past week did some pretty cool stuff. let's see i watched happy feet. i watched "fu zi" and damn the holiday! my pick: the holiday. i love nancy meyers. and omg jude law the moment he steps on screen you can forgive for being the playboy and jerk he is in real life. hahhas! seriously. the show is incredibly heart warming and a super "awwwwww" factor. i promise, if i were in the show, i'd marry jude law right then and now. and damn if he ever appeared on my doorstep, who knows what i'll do huh. but i love the show. not the best but one of the best amongst the mass of movies i've watched. and i must say kate winslet gave a pretty good performance. i always couldn't dettach her from the titanic character until now. but one casting mistake - JACK BLACK. i just keep expecting him to pop out and do something outrageously stupidly funny. just wrong. maybe they were trying to cast someone different but i think this just does not work. not here. but other than that, the show was nice. with pretty nice shots and nice lines and amidst the blabber roars of laughter hidden. a lil predictable but still good. i'm sorry but i can't help but say jude law is sooooooooooo enchanting in the show. you just can't help but wanna go grab him and give him a great big hug on the show! love him, love the show.

enough. so then, i bought the new chris tomlin cd. good music. like it. and hmmm what else, i'm back to watching smallville. and gosh you just hate it that lex luthor is going to be evil. and you just can't stand lana and clark in the same room. i actually finished watching higher ground. oh hayden christensen. although many just cannot stand his "stoned face" acting, i must say, its not at all that way. i dunno i guess some people just can't read it off his face. gosh that face of his, even if his acting were crap you can forgive him for it.

i just heard from khai awhile ago that prison break DID NOT GET ANY GOLDEN GLOBE NOMINATIONS?!!!!! like HELLO?! SERIOUSLY! that show is a phenomenon. its a revolution. what is wrong with these people?!!!! UGH. and cast is so perfectly in sync with each other. gosh. whatever happened to good critics. anyways, i'm still waiting for it to come back on in the states.

anyhow, i'm more than halfway through my IAP. can't wait to get out. just don't really appreciate sitting in freezing old offices doing almost close to nothing my freezing my own arse off. just another 7 weeks to go. just 7 more weeks.

quote of the day?
A true friend is one soul divided into two people. -- Aristotle

just another day

not much. very unhappening except that i actually mananged to vacumm and mop the whole house. tidy it and all avoiding a squabble. miraculous huh.

so i woke up today with a headache. so i decided i shall give myself a rest. went back to sleep woke at around 10 plus, 11. did more work. and then i sat down to watch JUSTICE LEAGUE and freaking WINX CLUB. steph and sarah if you ever read this. winx club is too lame okay.

then i took out my secret stash and started watching erm CRIMINAL MINDS. the first one i watched was a kid who was a serial killer because his dad paid more attention to other kids than him. next was this psycho who wanted revenge on his teammates who abandooned him in his lowest. so he caught their kids and made sure they turn on each other. so now that we've established that disaccord and jealousy is indeed the fastest way to being a murderer, let's move on to the next episode of criminal minds shall we?

quote of the day?
That man can destroy life is just as miraculous a feat as that he can create it, for life is the miracle, the inexplicable. In the act of destruction, man sets himself above life; he transcends himself as a creature. Thus, the ultimate choice for a man, inasmuch as he is driven to transcend himself, is to create or to destroy, to love or to hate. --Erich Fromm

my mediacorp studio cherry

6 weeks and 6 days

yesterday night was my first time in a mediacorp tv studio, during a recording - project superstar. again thanks to nic for bringing me along as your "cameracrew".

first things first. i seriously need to go brush up my chinese cos i couldn't understand 75% of what was being said by the judges. seriously, i would be like turning to nicole after every sentence and ask like... erm so what's this this this or that that that. sorry nic if i waws in anyway irritating or distracting i sincerely DID NOT mean to be that way.

secondly, i'm pleasantly surprised by the vocal quality. especially of the guys. so needless to say i've found someone who i think is worth supporting who has good vocals and good stage presence.

thirdly, i'm disgusted by some of my shots cos i couldn't get up close. it would be nice to get up close but i guess it'll disrupt their filming and i might get into the way of the BIGGER studio cameras which isn't really a good idea. and i love their studio lighting!!! hahahah the spot lights and all. so much more interesting compare to school studios!!! hahah like their lighting.

fourthly, i think the host were not bad although i really couldn't catch what they were saying half the time. but they were still entertaining.

so as you can see i did enjoy myself, but damn i was so tired after the show. i got home, washed up and flop right onto the bed. and this morning i still feel fast asleep on the train. like seriously. the moment i sat down i dozed straight off. and damn i'm so sad that the rubber piece at the bottom of my new shoes came off. i dunno how but i was walking fromt eh mrt to the pico building and like all of a sudden i felt one that one leg was longer than the other. gonna go down to jurong point to get it fixed later.

lastly, SARAH GRACE SULISTIO and family are hooked on PRISON BREAK! hahahah. sarah i love to say this. I TOLD YOU SO!

quote of the day?
.. it won't always be like this, this room, this place. - wentworth miller as michael scofield in prison break

laughs out loud

7 weeks and a day.

today was fun.

first, i have to thank nic for bringing me along as her photographer. yes, we caught whose line is it anyway. the original cast from the british show. it was totally mind blowingly hilarious. hahhas. so funny i could barely hold the camera still. they are highly witty and creative. and damn the most random people ever. lols. the classic was the james bond one. they have really good chemistry. they should after working together so long. i laughed till my throat is now SORE. lols. the spontaneous lyric making and singing. damn they are good. what's so perfect is that will never be anyone who see the exact same show. lols! i especially like the koala and olympic chess. concentrations camps and gayness. the mongolian expert on BBQ and cheese. hahhas!!! omg soo freaking funny! hhahaha i'm laughing even just thinking of it. the guy who worrks for margret thatcher in "bootland???" filling cadbury chocolate cream eggs with ball bearings from nail varnish. hahah! damn funnny. the cross voicing was really good. so good you'd think its the person who is motioning that is speaking. hahha! the hero dies. the cows on the moon. tthe diahorrea froom cows. help me doctor! hahaha! damn damn. hilarious. outrageous. hahhas. okay i think nic wiill have nothing to write for her youth.sg article if i delve into more details.

so, church was fine. and damn no prison break this week. sigh. tennis tmr and a dinner at giraffee. okay right. lalaland awaits my arrival and i'm hell bloody late.

quote of the day?
how women can spend hours preparing the foood and men burn it in two minutes -One of the Whose Line is it Anyway comedians on BBQs

Temptations

We all make choices.
What's yours?

i just watched a new movie. THE LAST KISS. a good one. first up, the cinematography was really good, i dunno how many times i said nice shot in the whole show. the cast is very well assembled and damn zach braff is one hell of an actor together with the rest of the cast. a great plot, great story with a strong punchline. it's kinda a nicholas sparks mixed with comedy kinda show. bittersweet, the kinda show you hate/love characters for doing certain stuff. i like the script of the movie too. very well crafted. i especially like the part where Jenna's dad could sorta sense his wife of 30 years anna. its amazing to see that kinda love, i mean its not the let's just get down to it kinda thing. its the thing, the kind you can't live without. the kind that you never realise is there until one day WHAM! it smacks you in the face. its especially sweet. the movie's good and the acting's good. made me tear and made the person behind me cry. i'd say this is one youu can't miss. it's sorta kinda helps up think about all the "what ifs" of life. and what if the what if's really happen. you don't want to go ahead with the what ifs and find out that you can't go back. we say learn from mistakes. but some mistakes are too big to be made. as much as i hate to say this, sometimes you just can't risk it.

oh wells, so i must prouudly declare that i'm on holiday tommorrow!!! how good is that. its the only reason why i'm still awake. i'm basking in the sensation of not having to go to work tmr. lols. today's work was fun. right avonda and desmond. hahaha *sniggers*. wells. i must say though that it was a better use of the time. hahah!

catching up and joking arouund like old days? totally nostalgic moments today. i miss the old days in school bahs. remenicing already huh. well, i think that's all for today.

quote of the day?
What you feel only matters to you. It's what you do to the people you love. That's what matters. That's the only thing that counts. -Steven in The Last Kiss

Regrets

office was totally still freezing. and i was totally bored to my wits end. but who cares now that i;m home and have watched my oh beloved prison break and went in prison break hahahh.

oh how i love prison break. lols this episode, highly intense. i love the outcome. the twists. just perfect. the way went stared at the phone in the scene where sara called back, man he could melt my screen. anytime. this episode "the killing box" one of the best. man love it to bits. i can't really say much cos people who haven't watched it would kill me if my blog were full of spoilers. this episodes was about regrets. sara regrets leaving michael in that room, michael regrets getting caught and kellerman regrets helping caroline. just exactly what are they going to do about it. i love this show.

quote of the day?
linc: knowing what you know now, do you regret helping me?
michael: yoou would have done the same for me.
linc: you think
michael: i know
linc: you did not answer my question
michael: i do not regret the act, i regret how it turned out.
-- taken from Prison Break's "The Killing Box"

it's freezing cold.

i forgot to bring my jacket to the office. already with a jacket its freezing. imagine what happens without a jacket. plus- it's raining, and the office is on the second floor. oh did i mention that its a central aircon. so you can't adjsut the temperature. i need winter wear. reason to shop hahha! bull.

so then, this episode of prison break is gonna be the last till 22nd january. gosh. i hate it that what i hearing are comments like "omg, they can't end it like this". it's a bad sign it means the suspense is gonna be killing suspense. how am i gonna live with this? for 8 weeks?! bahs. sobs no prison break for me. how positively saddening.

so yesterday after work i went all the way to jurong point SPECIALLY to get the lastest issue of PEOPLE magazine. hahha the sexist men issue. let me say, i got it solely for wentworth miller. although there was clooney, denton, purcell, jackman and blah blah blah in it, i promise, a magazine costing $10.40 is only worth it for went. but what do i get? a QUARTER PAGE picture that's super duper disappointing. sigh. but nevertheless, there's him. lols! i want august's isue of DETAILS!!!! anyone? work has been so erm..... relaxing? hahha. perfect. mroe time for me to surf and blog right? and look at photos and cameras and do online shopping haha! horrible horrible abigail. lols. so i bought lime magazine this morning. i must say that i was embarrased to even pay for it. but damn the almost full page wentworth pic is worth it. hahahha. damn obssessions. it was so embarrassing reading lime magazine on the MRT train but of cos, i paused at the wentworth page and stared at him for quite abit. you do not want me to delve into the details like seriously.

last night, i got down to watching grey's. pretty good episode. this one's about betrayals. good plot. intense. i like how they showed the what ifs. but i'm confused it there was a moment between karev and addison. was it a moment? the soundtrack is so damn good by the way.

okay, seriously. my hands are freezing. ice cold. BRRRRR.

quote of the day?
"In some ways, betrayal is inevitable. When our bodies betray us, surgery is often the key to recovery. When we betray each other, the path to recovery is less clear. We do whatever it takes to rebuild the trust that was lost. And then there are some wounds, some betrayals... that are so deep, so profound that there is no way to repair what was lost. And when that happens, there's nothing left to do but wait." -Christina Yang in Grey's Anatomy's From a Whisper to a Scream

family, it's all about family.

pearl's back from brokenhill and it's actually her birthday. so today was for her. yes brokenhill is actually a place. hahahh.

so we go there, and of cos aunt sally whipped out her camera without any delay. and commanded me to start snapping. i was under tremendous pressure. and when it came to photos of the birthday lady (no longer a girl), everyone jsut stared at me. and me hating flash was trying to hard to get a non shaky photo. i missed a reallly nice shot cos the stupid camera WITH NO MANUAL FOCUS couldn't focus. i just like everything done manually. so then a few shaky shots and aaron's like "eh abigail delete all the lousy photos so that i dun ahve to upload so many." he's the official photo uploader for family gatherings. hahah! poor guy. lols. so we saw the three "m"s and uncle peng liang a first since you know when. and there was a solemn moment. welll there always has been since you know when. we played lotsa dai di and bridge. it's a family thing. lols! swam, did a few dives. saw something really damaginng to my eyes like a laterallly challenge unclothed XX chromosoned human being. it's just wrong. had dinner and we watched sharapova and hantuchova fight it out which really reminded me how much i miss tennis. i'll play just that i really can;t find a partner! everyone never has the time. shucks huh. maybe i should really find someone. FANNY!!!! tennisss?! lols! my racket is really sitting in my room and collecting dust. tennis, tennis.

so i'm thinking of learning some combat skills and uncle peng liang was recommending this place in balastier. should try that out. rather than running all the time. it's bad for the joints. lols! and it's not a full body workout. lols! i need my defination back. lols! okay i think i've said enough. no i have not.

finally, after atalkign bout painting my own mary janes i'm actually gonan do it cos waiseen actually got the shoes for me. so no more excuses. i'll paint a twin pair. have to come up with the design.

i can't believe prison break is going for a haitus. NO WAY! seriously! no prison break for 8 weeks=56 days=1344 hrs. no went as michael. and seriously, i bet they're gonna leave it hanging, like someone at gun point or something. so there. SERIOUSLY?! the wait would probably be excruciating. lols! now this is enough except i haven't said one thing.... I HEART WENTWORTH MILLER! he's so unbelievably down to earth. that's character. to be this big and to be this down to earth. gosh. this guy is really something.

okay now it has all been said.

quote of the day
"it's just that birthday's aren't usually a sore subject" -michael scofield in prison break's sleight of hand

i'm back and kicking

hi blogger and hi world.

it's been a long time, and i was damn bloody bored with the LJ layout. lols! not like this is a brilliant layout. but its my principle. simple and clean cut. less is more. you know. wells, let's just keep to the bare minimum. that's how i like it.

i've just watched "a beautiful mind". i love that movie. genius. total genius. extraordinary.

okay so then, i did mention on my LJ that i would one day talk about that line that michael said in "boshoi booze". recap?

priest: there is a way to stop this. surrender your will to God.
michael: if i surrender now, i loose everything i love.
priest: but do you loose your soul?
michael: well, we all have our crosses to bear...

yes, we all have our crosses to bear. but what lengths will we go to carry them? that's all that should be said, and all to be said.

quote od the day?
" you are all my reason" -john nash, 1991

i'm slipping.

i'm selfish. all think about is myself. myself and my pathetic misery.
goodbye for now.

>>my LJ

i'm bored of blogger. i prefer something more simplistic. less is more.
click on the link only if you care enough.

dear blogger, here's my obsession

dear blogger,

here's my obsession.
yes, it's 99% him and 1% me.
the dictionary defines obsession as "a compulsive preoccupation with a fixed idea or an unwanted feeling or emotion, often accompanied by symptoms of anxiety". firstly, i am definately preoccupierd. and he is definately a fixed idea. this emotion/feeling is definately unwanted because i reallly know that i don't need this. cause all it is making me is miserable. period. and more often than not, i'm anxious and disturbed by it. and too often, i find myself in this mood swing-y terrible grouch abigail because of him. and because i'm so freaking selfish, i can't let go. i cannnot drive myself out of this fit for other people around me. everyone starts to wonder, whatever happened to gail? which makes me wonder. what have i become because of him. what have done? am i still me?
so here's it in black and white. literally. my obsession.

so apart from that depressing topic,

messenger:mac has been giving me problems so taking cassand's advice, i'm switching to adium which is kinda cool. yeaps. and aggie's macbook is friggin' cool. the isight is way insightful. ahhaa!

tmr, my first photojourn assignment is due. i hope i do well. i hope. i'm dabbling with a few ideas for my photo essay. autism, the singpore culture:food, love (not the cliche kind but the real one. like between father and son, between friends, between an old couple. not the teen-ish cheap love.), perspective.

and my interview for OIAP is tmr. hope i pass it! hmmm but i guess whatever is in His will la. i mean if i don't get it so be it. you know. but if i get it GREAT. yipee!!! i really do hope i get it. it's really what i wanna do. but if it's not what He wants for me, then i don't want it.

beautiful disaster.

eye bags

i have noticed those permanent fixtures on my face starting to grow bigger again.

sleep, i'm sleep deprived.

i realise i have countless assignments due on the week i'm gonna be away. like CRAP. there's MASSINA individual and group assignment due that week. and i haven't even started. bleah. what bad timing and what bad procrastination habits.

i had a really good time today.

lunch at aunt sally's was nice! the food was delicious! and the company was good. man trying too get aunt sally to understand the 4 golden spots rule in photography. gee.

then on to the BBQ. thanks aunt maggie, uncle timothy and esther for opening up ur place to us again! man i miss you guys. if you are ever going to read this. i hope you do! so we played the game "what if..." and like hell, i'm so frekaing popular out of 17 questions 3 were about me! like hello. questions like... "what if abigail weren't so loud", "what if abigail did not have a mouth", "what if abigail suddenly grew a brain"... seriously? gee. what kinda questions are those. you may as well ask "what if abigail weren't abigail". i have to say this. i'm loud. i admit to it. but that's who i am, and i don't think it'll change. i mean, if you find it repulsive go back to your corner and stay away. because nothing's gonna change. at least not soon. maybe one day... but definately not in the near future. the brain question... not so nice sister. but oh wells, just for fun right? bleah. so the food there was good too. the cake from awfully chocolate! YUMS.

i definately had my share of calories for like two or three days. hahahha but who cares right? okay, i shall go run. i will.

i guess today kinnda occupied me. gave me less free time. which is good. i mean think less about certain somethings and someone. but it's creeping back up slowly again.

last words? reka i hope you get well soon, get out of the depressing hospital!

BLACK HAWK DOWN!!!!!

did i ever freaking say that i LURVE war movies?
omg i HEART war movies.

i heart heart heart them!

just finished watching black hawk down AGAIN. man these are the kinda stuff that you can never get enough of. its like a drug you know. bleah... better than sitting there watching a match where CZECH REPUBLIC is loosing and watching phua swear endlessly cos' he can't take it like a man!

we clapped for pastor augustine today. haha! funny man.

but today was fine. very tiring tho'. not like physically tiring but mentally tiring. just had to take a breather and get down away from everyone else. so i locked myself in the youth room for about 15 mins or so. that's therapeutic. DEFINATELY. somehow today church was just too noisy for me. jarring. it was like hammering down on me.

it feels like that moment now in grey's where meredith goes like "pick me, choose me, love me."
which is awfully crazy. cos' it's so impossible.
whoever said that ignorance is bliss, you were SO wrong. SO wrong.
and it also feels like i'm george and i'm like "he doesn't even hear me".

to ignore doesn't make you forget.

stop messing with me head

i'm really messed up now.

the deprived sleep, the work and the YOU.
that feeling has faded. the feeling of relief. it has faded. long gone. lost. forgotten. now all that remains is the nostalgia. take that away and all that is left is you. as amazing it may seem, yes, you would be all that remains. try to take you away and what would be left is pain. the imprint of you. your shadow. but that is not what i want. all i want is you. not to possess you, but to be there for you. is it that difficult to acknowledge me? am i not good enough for you? no one is ever good enough for you aren't they. they're only good for a while. you don't get to judge me. you don't. because you've said so much and only done so little. all those empty promises. you trample on them, i know you do. because, i'm not good enough for your stupid promises. no, i'm not worth at least that much. you know why you will never get it, because what you're afraid of, will always come back round and shoot you in youur back when you least expect it. and one day, it'll come around. it will. it's give and take. i've been giving too much. and what i give you don't appreciate. i'm always the one taking the first step to salvage what's left of this stupid friendship, which sometimes i doubt is worth saving. am i one of those people that is not worth knowing? am i one of those who you think you don't need in your life. REDUNDANT. is that what i am to you? am i?

and as for you. i trusted you and you turn around and publicise what i tell you that's meant to be left in the secret. i got you all wrong. to think i even defended you. how dumb of me. how dumb.

"smile and the world smiles with you. cry and you cry alone".

now that's me.

blah blah blah

okay, i can't sign in to my MSN. ugh.

i developed my first FEW prints today. how cool is that.
i like it. i like it. i like it.

i found a new good show. CRIMINAL minds. it's damn cool.

i'm so LOST. lost lost lost. i'm so un-rested. i'm so stoned.
i feel crappy. but then again. WHAT'S NEW.

for a week. and then now, OMG. what's happening again. AGAIN. what the hell is going on. WHAT WHAT WHAT.

so confused, my heart's bruised....
ego bruiser

someone pull me out of this ditch.
this rut.
this perpetual lowlife i have sunk into.
it's all because of you, i can't believe it's all because of you.
why can't you care? why can't you at least care.
this is such a shame.

SPSS of abigail

do you know what's my biggest problem?

no the answer is not you. my biggest problem has to be my lazy procrastinating bum. seriously. i think i could get so much else done by just NOT being lazy. like going for a run! like going to play tennis!

baaaaah, unfortunately, i'm still lazy. how bad is that right? so i think i jsut completed my freaking IDM flash animation clip. like finally right. since i've been working on it since like May 11. or even before that. bleah... i like animation... its just that i really suck at it. like SERIOUSLY suck at it.

i'm really bored with this blogskin and i just realised that i have a MASSINA individual assignment due on the 4th of JULY. how i wish this was the states which means independance day which means holiday which means a later deadline. okay is it DEADline or DATEline. DEADline makes more sense, cos if you don't meet the DEADline you're (not litereally) DEAD.

you know what's my next biggest problem?

priorities.
i just can't get them straight sometimes. wait no most of the time.

and my next biggest problem?

selected perfectionism. what i like i cling onto. i do my best to do and i do till i crap in my pants. okay not literally. but what i don't like. i just push it aside wait till the last minute. never get started until i'm forced to. i wonder is perfectionism a gift or a curse. gosh.. tell me about it.

anyway, i gotta run. go do some freaking surveys for advertising. i did not sign up for advertising to do freaking RESEARCH. i should have take ad creatives. REGRET REGRET REGRET. bleahhh. sheesh.

goodbye to you

my cards are out on the table

it actually feels good you know. it actually does.

its like what george said in grey's...
"I just can't tell you want you wanna hear. Which seems to be a theme in my life right now. Just because you can't say something doesn't mean you don't want to. You can want to very much. You can be with a person and be happy with them and not love them. And you can love somebody and not want to be with them. You don't need to love someone to want them. Now that's frustrating, when what your brain tells you you want and what you actually want don't match up. It's exhausting. And, well, its complicated."

i'm relieved. i feel like i've moved on already after saying what i said. i dunno! its like miraculous. it's like what i've been waiting for. its like i have finally let go. like TOTALLY. i feel liberated.

i can't explain this feeling. its like... WOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!!!

i'm so happy i'm actually laughing at myself to myself?!

like can anyone believe this?!!

its phenomenal!

i'm really hysterical. i really am!!!!!!

OMGGGGGG!!!! somebody... lol!

it's a pity its so late.... or i'll be running doown the street, shouting it from the rooftops!

this is GOOD. tell me its not as good as it gets!

What a day.

i woke up at like erm what... 11 am? and realised how screwed we were for advertising. so i made a few calls and ta-da. which brings me to school. i'm in school. IN SCHOOL. i did not intend to come to school man i'm tired. LIKE really tired. I'm stuck for IDM and tmr's class is until 10 pm. and if there's advert lecture and tutorial in the morning it leaves me with a freaking LONG break inbetween. bleahh...

so now i'm sitting here after wasting a full 8 bucks on a cab to school just done with the survey questions which i hope will get approved. or we are SO dead. bleah. and i have a feeling i'm gonna waste another 6 bucks on a cab back home. and i feel like i'm in the rut cos i have this feeling... and i'm just waiting for it to pass. waiting for it to pass.

song of the day? Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol.
"would you lie with me and just forget the world...."

then there's you. you know. u've become a daily thing. like a habit. not in a good way. but not in a bad way either. you're like part of this routine that i have everyday. which really sucks. getting you out of my life can be my lifelong goal, which i don't think i'll never accomplish. sometimes i wonder if you know, or you realise that i still bother, a tad too much. bleah. you're a habit that i can't break.

You had me there.

since tuesday has been like a holiday.

but it's making me so uneasy because jenny low has yet to reply about our research proposal and survey questions. and it's like due like on the 13th!!!! which is about a week or so away. it's just so crazy. and then there's IDM. i'm just stuck there. not moving forward. cos of all the research that needs to be done and all the content that needs to be put in. GOSH, i'm so lazy.

oh wells.

so my parents aren't in town. so i've been NOT at home. lol! staying at elaine's place. like our second home. haha! well, but it's been fun and relaxing and therapuetic. takes my mind off stuff. ng therapy. bleah.

on friday, i went down to church early to help sabrina with the cell group stufff. haha! the murals were like hmmmmm... i got no comment.... my dove and the multitudes were nice okay!!! but the red sea parting one? omg sabrina, you so should have drawn the people. it would have looked much better. at around 5+ we went down to IKEA to meet esther! man haven't seen her in a long while. it was good to see her.

had dinner, bought the cake headed back to church. had cell group. it was fun, rowdy and enjoyable and all. :) wheee. lol!headed back home, reached home arounnd 1145. and there was this drunk woman. she was freaky man. like FREAKY. did the laundry, slept arond like 3 AM right?

i was called out of my sleep by aunt sally. lol! melissa's ROM was cool. but seeing aunt honey in that state was really saddening. almost heart breaking. i remember how she took care of my sisters and i when my mom ran into some stuff. but i just didn't know what to say you know. it's like you never thought it'll come to this.

being friends with you is really difficult cos you coast in and out when and how you wish. at that point in time, i really thought that you were... nevermind... you really had me there. you always have. reminds me of the whole "i can't breathe with you looking at me. STOP LOOKING AT ME!" mer/der moment.

It seems like forever

i had to drag myself out of bed this morning. I was so dead tired i couldn'tt keep my eyes open on the bus. And i hate sleeping on public transport. Somehow you, rather I, just don't feel safe. What made it worse was that the bus journey today was awfully long. 99 usually takes me 20 - 30 mins to get from home to clementi. today it took freaking 50 mins. And that made me almost late for Advert class. I stepped into class sat down and jenny started roll call. And the reason why i can never be late for class is because i'm first on the register. so i'm always the first to be marked absent - that is if i'm late. So i was barely awake through lecture and consultation. And then kept myself awake during discussion, which i don't think i was in a very pleasant mood. Sorry guys. And then i couldn't take it any longer where i cabbed down to church to sleep. for 4 hours and i still wake up exhuasted. Which i still am now. i dunno how or why!

i'm gonna start shooting tmr. i think. gnna head down to *scape. try to get a few good shots. then maybe walk down orchard road get a few other shots. then i dunno head down to church? cos i'll be so freaking tired. I PREDICT. i'll probably waste the day sleeping again. i can't believe i actually HAVE NOT WATCHED GREY'S ANATOMY! like HELLO.

anyway, as i said i'm really tired. and then there's you who's reallly exhausting. REALLY.

goodnight.

i wish that those days lasted FOREVER

You're taking me on a rollercoster ride.

this is really crappy. WHAT a crappy week. Daniel Powter's Bad Day has probably been my anthem for the past 4 days.

now i;m sitting here waiting for 1 am so i can pop in my last two pills so i can go sleep and rest. YES, i'm sick. With freaking tonsilitis. i told you this week is crappy. I've never taken so much meds in one day before. i have like 4 differrent pills and a cough syrup. this really sucks. And the worst part about have tonsilitis?! I CAN'T FREAKING EAT CHOCOLATE! give me a break man! first it was shingles then now its this. SERIOUSLY?!

so when i woke up i tried to do flash right. And because of the fever that comes with tonsilitis all i did was stare at frames that made my head ACHE and made me dizzy.

i took at break and watched madame butterfly. it was not as good as i expected it to be. but it definately beats memoirs of a geisha hands down. then i went to sleep because i couldn't take it any longer and i woke up with the same spliting headache just that is was worse. by then i was half lucid. half lucidly, i went down to the doc who offered me an MC till sat and i said no friday is enough. And then i reach home to realise that tthe MC till sat was my chance to skip SYMC and i miss it.

just like how i missed that chance with you. DAMN IT.

FRAMES make me dizzy and sends me into a fit.

so then monday was nice, tuesday was okay and wednesday was crap and now thursday is bullshit.

i'm not your toy. decide if you want to throw me away or you want to keep me.

just know that i'm always here.

Tired, Scary and Damaged

I'm so tired all of a sudden.

well, i woke up around 10 plus today and started doing FLASH again. Gosh, i tell you, after a long 5 hours at it, all i'm at is the freaking introduction. IT REALLY SUCKS. i'm on the verge of giving up on flash and ike doing a freaking powerpoint presentation.

so then i did a little more of other work then i headed down to huiyi's place for pohkwan's farewell. hahah i had fun. huiyi has a nice sexy voice thanks to her cough and von was especially whiny due to her fever.

and pohkwan.. ALL THE BEST on your mission trip! i'll pray for you! hahah! yeah and erm, don't get lost or kidnapped and end up worrking in a weird profession. yeah, you get the drift. lol!

and today i was just thinking. i'm not recovered. NOT fully recovered from whatever.

so today, all i am in all is TIRED, SCARY AND DAMAGED.

P.S. Reka i love you! youu rock! you're my pharmacist. hahah!

Some Things Never Change

hahha. i went out after church yesterday. to watch poseidon.

haha the movie was good DEFINATELY better than m:i:3 without a doubt. of cos there's dreamy blue eyes in the movie. but this time he's not so dreamy. he's more of the let's go kick some ass attitude guy. kurt russell looksn scary dead underwater and robin wants to see a tidal wave in real life. LIKE HELLO?! according the wave is SO MAJESTIC that he has to see it with his own eyes. LIKE RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT.

okay so then, i had my moment yesterday. OMFG after 8 years on this planet, i was finally kindly enlightened by DANIEL that UP is not plainly up but usual price in those sale posters! i mean i knew U.P. was usual price but not UP. damn that was so freaking embarrasing. i'm like OMG i need to bury my head in the ground NOW. And that was not the only incident. gosh.

there's so many more movies to watch... X3 is out this thurs, I'm thinking about catching The Da Vinci Code, there's the french show l'enfant. which no one else wants to watch. or at least not that i know off. bleah.

and there's IDM due like in freaking 2 weeks! oh shit i'm starting to panic. man i HATE mondays. WISP is freaking boring. and i so totallly CANNOT stand the voice. and the kinda "intelligent" answers that some people can give. OMG you're freaking 18 and you don't even know what would happen if crude oil ran out. like "cooking oil will become more expensive". OMG OMG OMG.

anyway, photojourn is fun. i HEART photojourn.

well, after yesterday, it's true. SOMETHINGS NEVER CHANGE.

WARNING: This is a LIFE SUCKS post

I'm freaking sitting here on a thursday evening tired froom looking at freaking frames and motion and shape tweens.

i can safely say that i'm a wreck. i'm having this uncomfortable stomach, throat and nose. and for already 4 days. really sucks. and then i have these stupid headaches that are spelly in nature. which officially SUCKS. BIG TIME.

and then i have this stupid problem that is SO NEVER GONNA be fully resolved. which i think is giving me the headaches.

and then i have this financial problem where i'm so freaking broke i can't even afford to pay for a phone to replace my LOST phone. a side note: I don't have the money, not the parents. AND i'm making an effort to be financially INDEPENDENT with the given 400 bucks i get every month; which miraculously never fails to disappear rapidly in the first half of the month then leaving em broke till the end of the month. And then there's the 100 bucks that needs to be paid for the photojourn chemicals. and i want to buy the media law textbook which costs another 50 bucks. and i wanna pay back a "debt" of 150 bucks to someone. so that leaves me a credit of 200 bucks which i SO DO NOT HAVE.

complain complain complain.

i need to stop.

i need twin therapy. i need noah therapy. i need grey's therapy.

i'm stuck at the episode where DEREK is FREAKING PISSED at MEREDITH because of something she SO DID NOT DO. and why because he's still SO no over her. 0224 - Damage Case. UGH. move on move on move on.

Long Over Due

I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN.

I SHOULD HAVE.

I've beeen so blind and dumb. i mean since when wasn't i. SINCE WHEN?!

UGH.

just rip out my guts. or shoot me in the head. i bet it'd be a less paintful death. TRUST ME.

It's One of Those Days

this is freaking unfair.

i hate being this way. i really hate it.

gosh.

so you think. and i thought so too.

i'm angry, frustrated, irritated, confused, lost, upset, screwed (more politely that f***ed) up, shaken all at one go. try feeling that way all in less than a day. and then ttry feeling that way and pretend that you are not that way. just for the sake of exteriors. JUST OR TTHE SAKE OF EXTERIORS and looking freaking perfect and jolly and happy. try that.

i have that ringing in my head which i get when i feel like crap.

just to let you know, i feel worse than crap.

FREAK.

FREAK.

FREAK.

flash is gonna be the death of me

i hate flash, i suck at flash and my flash clip is hopelessly hopeless.

face it, flash is SO not my cup of tea.

i'm so tired. very very tired. the only thing that can cure me at this very moment is probably grey's anatomy.

i am so over. my life is so over.

i just realised i got so mant things to do starting after sabbath. for pete's sake. they keep giving me last minute jobs. annd it's not like they pay well.

i lost my phone btw, so people who actualy read my blog? drop me sms to tell me your number. i lost 117 contacts from my previous phonebook. man it really sucks.

my eyes are barely open. BARELY. i feel freaking miserable now. FREAKING miserable. i'm being treated like TRASH. TRASH. TRASH by you, you, you. i don't need this treatment; not from you, not from anyone else.

"this is the part where the four letttered swear word starting with an "f" spews out*

as jenny low would have put it in yr 2 - CURRY FISH HEAD.

Life is Unfair... PIECE OF SHIT

okay i admit, i was damn freaking desperate to get into IMC. that the email sounded so freaking desperate. wonder what it sounded like to whoever it was addressed to. GOSH. nevermind that's over. so i'm still in IDM and maybe it's good i am. learn how to actually do FLASH. i actually drew my squid already. muhaahaha. so proud of myself. at least step 1's over and done with.

i was just thinking, what the hell do i want to do after i finish poly. i mean afterall i'm in my third year already. i'm graduating in feb next year. CRAP, time flies. what i really wanna do after poly is go back to school, not the same school - to univerrsity. get a freaking degree. a good one for that matter, in advertising. but gosh, where the hell am i gonna get the money right? bleah. life is so unfair. some people just are born with the privilledge. hello, first the states then netherlands? gosh i swear some people are just tooo darn prvilledged. UGH. okay fine.. stop complaining. but i think i'm really gonna work my ass off to get a scholarship. that would be just great. but i honestly don't think it's gonna happen. i mean seriously. i can kiss my freaking degree goodbye now. there.

nevermind, i shall just aim on backpacking Europe.

well, well, what do we have here. i just heard something really lame. but it's worth the mention. a new way to avoid swearing when you wanna swear. "what the h e double toothpicks". lol. okay which reminds me, reka just reminded me how long have i not used the phrase "piece of shit". haha! i remember the verbal diahorrea of that phrase when i was in year one. SERIOUSLY. i remember grace, megan, pearl, reka and darren being able to predict when that phrase would spew out of my mouth. of cos it was not a great feat though; cos i used to so often that i could count it as punctuation for my sentences. lol!

okay my squid is so gonna be callled squid. "qi-qi" is one of the most ridiculous names for a squid. and a squid was named squid forr a reason. so my squid is called squid. so don;t ask me whatt my squid is called. because my squid is a FREAKING PIECE OF SHIT SQUID! okay freaking piece of shit was a collective phrase used as an adjective. there.

i'm a load of bullcrap now.

libel is defamation in a permanent form, written or spoken. e.g. blogs, newspapers, tv, radio.

now that was random. i just thought of it all of a sudden. media law is seriously the only module that i actually feel that i learning something new. i mean even in advanced adverrtising. its just reinforcing what we learnt in year 2.

okay, i've officially have nothing more to say. FOR NOW.

i should come up with a disclaimer to post with every blog entry so i don't get sued :p

so long mates, i'm now a flash-er

okay, met up with hannah, benita, serene, jeremy, kailin, vanessa and sharizal today foor diner at spageddies. there were supposed to be more of them (takhmau-ers). but what the heck la... just had good laughs with them seven. EW hannah, that was horrible horrible horrible of you to say that. can't believe you were still laughing about iton your way home. EVIL.

anyway, the past week was the first week of school and i've been regretting not taking IMC. so i appealed to only get freaking disappointed. damn. so i'm still down with IDM, which means macromedia flash is my new best friend, which means as according to XB i'm a flasher. lol! i suck at flash big time, but i'm coouunting on elaine to come to my rescue.

it's only fair, i exchange my babysitting on thursdays for flash tuitorials! haha!

which means master choy cannot fail me, and hopefully he'll give me a B. lol! i only can WISH.

i mean considering who's the moderator too.

come on, its nothing but a dream.

anyway, i watched grey's anatomy until episode 11 of season 2 and i'm stuck there!!! i want my dosage of grey's!!!! i want episode 12!!! come on! UGH. i mean seriously, grey's anatomy is like friends meet ER. The script is very very very well written. the plots are well formulated, the music is divinely chosen. tell me now its not the best show on the planet.

so what else is there worth blogging about... media law seems pretty interesting. MASSINA, just the same old stuff. adv advert its everything i can expect i guess. photojourn damn my lecturer is still overseas. and IDM its choy, what do you expect.

me: so mr choy, what are we goona be doiing for the rest of the lessons?
mr choy: *ponders* rubs his chin that's a very good question...

so you see.

ego bruiser is my friend

damn.

sarah grace sulistio. all i have to say to you is "OH CRAP". other than that. i got nothing to say.

grey's anatomy as usual was splendid. thurs thurs thurs. andrea's getting the whoel fo season 2 from her friend. that's just AWESOME! i can't wait. hahah! yums yums yums. lol.

school today was just fine. miss paul's class was as i expected and WISP was just all talk and no action. freaking class that is only bullshit. cos that's all i'll do during class. i think. i mean seriously. so tommorrow or rather today is the day of all my electives. i mean come on man... 13 hours of school sheesh, like i can't get enough of it. hmmm i wonder. how am i going to survive. advert from 9 to 1. IDM from 2 to 6. photojourn from 6 to 10.

anyway, i cut my hair. hahah FINALLY.

last note. they so should have cast james denton as james bond. i mean just look at him. he looks the role almost perfectly.



goodbye and goodnight. ego bruiser.

today's quote from grey's anatomy - Perfectly exposed partially numb beating heart. It's a beautiful thing.

Someone Like You

just finshed that show.

its nice. just nice. sweet though. yeah. hugh jackman looks sooo good in that movie. i mean in x-men he's all covered in hair. but i hafta admit that he looked good in swordfish too. okay he does look good. i mean look.



so there. well well. hmmm i'm bored.

yes, carnations.

yes, new phone.

yes, i'm still broke and in debt.

yes, i think i should go sleep.

i say again. sleep deprivation does wonders.

Thanks for the Memories.

THE PAST

chalet was a blast. i mean seriously, although alot of people like REKA did not turn up. oooohhhh we had sooo much fun. playing cranuim and mahjong and taboo and NARUTIMATE (i think that's what its called)! we seriously all started get superstitious cos that was what it seemed like. i'm telling you mahjong is freaking adddictive. i mean FREAKINGLY. its almost like bridge. which reminds me... if you ever wanna trust your life with someone when it comes to strategy card games like bridge... NEVER PICK GRACE. haha! lynn and i were exasperated by the time we finished teaching her bridge at an ungodly hour of 3 am! and i wanna go out and,i buy a playstation JUST JUST JUST to play NARUTIMATE. talk abot video gaming being addictive. Pearl and I just kept going at it. OKAY SOUNDS WRONG. its sooo fun to just to kick pearl's behind (especially even though i can't beat her at that combination thingy when yoou activate your special powers) and to beat the master of the game jianqi and kick some butt with my spasmed like hitting of the (O) button. so then we had some pedicures and manicure quite well done in the last 3 nights. poor sean was the first victim just because the blanket wasn't long enough to cover his toes. then came darren because we knew sean would help us cos he was the only one who had it from us. and then poor julian who i think secretly loves his new pedicure cos he was so cool about it and gave a thumbs up. and then our driver darren AGAIN because sean graciously helped us AGAIN after he scratched off the first one. then the fall of sean because he thought that being our accomplice was enough but unfortunately for him, he's still XY and we're XX. And that freaking HUGE lizard with its smellly shit. and some really crazy taboo stuff like:

TABOO WORD:PARK
Julian: Jee Soon! Jee Soon!
long pause of 3 secs with all puzzled faces and then...
Darren: PARK! PARK!

TABOO WORD:KETTLE
Lynn: polly put the ... on!
without hesitation...
Pearl: peter piper picked a peck of pepper!

TABOO WORD:PINEAPPLE
Nicole: you can find this in pinacolattas!
Gabriel: URINE!

you can seriously see how crazy it got and this is not the worse. i mean there was still cranium! i mean the OSCAR WINNING performance sean gave for the show TITANIC. this was sooo crazy. SOOOO crazy. so we had some bitching and some sorrow sharing and some guitar playing and some sing-a-long song singing. it was really crazy. The BBQ was good too. The chicken was nice and so was the potato sald except for the over zealous lynn who loves mayo and dumped like both bottles into one pot of potato salad! that last marshmellow, darren you have too admit was roasted to perfection. So this goes out to all who came esp PEARL, LYNN, NICOLE, YAWEN, LIZ, DARREN, SEAN. you guys are one CRAZY bunch. and of cos, this will have NOT been possible without darren who had graciously drove us around. And thanks to us, his driving has improved vastly and so has my navigation skills because his is, i would say, in sorry condition. he needs to go around more.

PRESENT

I'm sitting here and waiting to eat dinner which i am not very keen on.

FUTURE

school's starting on monday, somehow, i'm not as excited but i really want it to start. and then there's this headache which comes everytime you change classes. WHO TO FREAKING WORK WITH. not that i dunno who i wanna work with but more of i know who i do not wannna work with. NEVERMIND its COMPLICATED. DAMN. but i'm still glad that nic, yawen and liz is in my class! how rocking is that! THAT'S soooo FUN!

anyway, i gotta run now.

and as grey's anatomy titled one of their episodes, THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES.

Grey's Anatomy Rambles

chalet is tommorrow.

i just watched grey's anatomy. damn damn damn. i wanna just keep on watching it nonstop. WITH NO COMMERCIALS! ugh i love the show. come on, where's the DVDs. i'm sitting at the edge of my chair because they keep twisting it. and every episode it just gets better.

"if love were enough that she’d still be here with you."

gosh i hate it. argh i hate the show, i love the show. the writers are brilliant i mean. SERIOUSLY, SERIOUSLY!

oh my, am i rambling. yes i am.

ROOOOARRR!

Pay It Forward

I watched pay it forward AGAIN last night.

The person who came up witth tthe story i have to admit is brilliant and he chose the right actor. Haley Joel Osment. Anyway, that's that and i don't think you acctually think it happened in real life. I mean its too utopia-ish to actually happen in real life. just take a look around you.

well, anyway, i'm a very blessed kid. everyone knows how broke i am right. soo i kinda like have too buy an analog SLR for photojourn. what happens is i actually was going to buy the Canon EOS66 from XB's friend. but then on wednesday, i just felt that i should ask pastor albert if it was a fine priice for a second hand and guess what, he said i didn;t need to buy cos he'll lend me his for AS LONG AS I NEEDED IT. how awesome is that. and on top of that the camera came with a long lens and flash light. it's just WOW cos it means i save 200 bucks. It's like A BIG THANK YOU to pastor albert and Yahweh.

i'm a very blessed kid.

i mean look at me, a new ibook? come on. i never thought it'd ever happen. but my dad kindly paid half of it. it may onlly be 700 bucks but he did afterall spend 3K on that toshiba portege A100. so there, life's good.

i should be more content.

i should.

i'm bored - what's new.

i watch imagining argentina today.very good movie. VERY good. i dunno how to descriibe it but it toys with issues about the government. maybe that's why its rated. well. the actors put up a splendid act. hats off to them.

well, i wanna watch this movie annapolis. i think it already screened in singapore. how could i have missed it!!! ugh. must be the work. i think it was the work.

speaking of which, i have none now which is really driving me to stony broke. wait i already am stony broke. well, i really need a job. or a source of income. bleah.

i dun think i got anything else to say. just that if you have a job for me, HOLLER ME.

bye. blogging is such a chore sometimes. but i guess, i'm doing it to kill this time that i have on my hands.

Just Another Day

well, i drew this because i'm really bored with no work and a new ibook. come on, someone give me something to do and mind you pay me for it! ahhaha. it's called "A Heart Ablaze" by the way.

today's worship was good in the sense that everything was TOGETHER. and hmmm yeah pretty good. i still don't like the sound system though. it's annoying the crap out of me because i can't get my guitar to sound even close to DECENT.

yawen actually has episode 18 of desperate housewives. i was supposed to go get it but i'm just soo lazy. i kinda regret it but wells, live with your laziness abigail.

i'm bored. i really am. someone enntertain me please.

Sit back, Relax and Enjoy the show

okay, i was glued to an electronic screen almost the whole day today. i woke up at like the ungodliest hour of 1130 and then i sat infront on my NEW ibook watching desperate housewives. Gosh, the show is the most addictive show on the same level as Grey's Anatomy and LOST. i realy can't wait to get my hands on the 18th episode. i mean although it may seem like a show where its mindless, it really isn't.

There's soo much in that show that you can learn. Everything in there is so real! i mean it makes the mundane seem so not mundane. There's something that Bree said to Andrew that really was what most people do not know. That the opposite of love, is not hate. It is indifference. Its really true, because you can only hate the person if he or she means something to youu in the first place. Tom and Lynette are an AWFULLY SWEET couple its soooo cute.

So you see, TV isn't just about entertainment.

Well, so after i finished whatever episodes of desperate housewives i had on my hands, i got down to two movies that i missed. "The Family Stone" and "Cutting Edge 2: Going for the Gold". The family stone was a total knockout. i loved it! It makes you wanna cry and laugh at the same time. Fantastic movie. really touching. Cutting Edge 2 was good too. but a little cheesy. but the figure skating was FANTASTIC. It realy makes you wanna go get on the ice rink and go skating your heart away too. which reminds me, i haven't gone ice skating in ages.

now, i'm so broke that i don't think that i have enough to go for class chalet 2 weeks from now.

I was thinking, and i realised that if i could decribe the youth in church, the one word would be "dead". now how sad is that.

i dunno. well, i want to watch episode 18 of Desperate Housewives and i wanna watch Grey's Anatomy. and i wanna watch episode 10 of LOST.

cruel twists of fate

i'm glad. very glad infact, i've gotten my ibook! the long awaited ibook G4. i know, some people may call me slow cos there's already the macbook. but you see, i do not have the fortune of wealth. so there. this is my first time blogginng using my *evil laughs* ibook. but however fortunate i am, fate is playing games with me because i can't sign into my messenger for mac! what am i going to do! ahhhhhh! okay shut up abigail and stop complaining. go try solve the problem. okay point taken. but HOW?! sheesh.

okay i need help here! help help the pillar is falling!

anyway, thanks to hafiz i have photoshop and illustrator on my apple. yums. isn't it just delicious?

so, today i watch tristan and isolde. the show is soooo sad!!!! very sad. but its so very nice. so now does that make me a saddist. cos i think its nice although its sad. hmmmm. *ponders* okay no because a saddist enjoys seeing people in a sad state. i do not. okay i'm talking and reasoning with myself once too often. well, i shall not spoil it. however, i feel that the actors did not really have very good chemistry. other than that the show was nice. it has a great storyline and plot. so there, in a nutshell.

anyway, i guess i'm gonna try figure this messenger thing out. laters

Tyler Hilton is so hot it has to be a crime

here yawen. happy?

hahah yes, he has an awesome voice. lol. and yes, i said before he has nice photos on his site. which makes it even better. okay. so this post is obviously another bimbotic post by abigail chen jieyi. i like this new songs of his....

"Missing You"

Everytime I think of you
I always catch my breath
I'm still standing here
And your miles away
And I wonder why you left me
And there's a storm that's raging through my frozen heart tonight

I hear your name in certain circles
And it always makes me smile
I spent my time just thinkin about you
And its almost driving me wild

[Bridge:]
But its my heart thats beggin down this long distance line tonight

[Chorus:]
And I ain't missin' you at all
Since you've been gone... Away
I ain't missin' you
No matter what I might say

There's a message in the wires
And I am sendin' you a signal tonight
You don't know how desperate I've become
And It looks like I'm loosein' this fight

[Bridge:]
But it's my heart that's breakin' down this long dusty road of mine

But I ain't missin' you at all
Since you've been gone... Away
I aint missin' you at
No matter what my friends say

And there's a message that I'm sendin' out
Like a telograph to you or something
I can't bridge this distance
Honey, stop this heart ache all alone

I ain't missin' you at all
Since you've been gone... Away
I ain't missin' you
No matter what my friends say
I ain't missin' you
Since you've been gone... Away
I ain't missin you
Yeah, no matter what your friends say

Hey yeah, yeah yeah yeah

I ain't missin you at all
Since you've been gone... Away
I ain't missin' you
Nooo

Rediscover

Damn that title reminds me of PR, but what the heck. well, i guess things in life have a funny way of sneaking up on you.

today was a blast. had lunch with aggie, liz, yawen, nic and juliana. well, it was really enjoyable. all the talk and laughter. Gosh, at the end of the day i laughed so much i think it was good enough to make up for 100 sit-ups. hahah. yes and lunch was at OUTBACK! yums. haven't eaten there in a long time. it was time to break the dry spell. thinking of it makes me drool. okay not really becasue i'm still soooo full from lunch. after that we headed down to ben and jerry's to give yawen a lil birthday surprise and to continue our chat.

i discovered that this girl who's my age and was in my course of study and sat beside me is pregnant in her late third trimester and she is already married. talk about life sneaking up on you. i think it pounces on you rather. she's actually the first person i know to actually have somethign like that happen to her. not that i know her personally, but i did have a say hi-bye relationship with her. reality suddenly starts to sink in after awhile because although i've heard of such cases, it never really got to me. i can't really describe this feeling that i have. it's really... something that leaves me speechless.

this is the kinda moments where in the psalms they would say "selah"

well, life really passed by us quick. so quick sometimes we don't notice. i've finished year 2 and i'm going on year 3. i can still remember the time in church when i was 8 and i thought man 10 yrs is a long way to go. i guess now i have to BEG TO DIFFER. soon enough in less than a year, i'll be out in a vicious world of office politics and may i say slavedriving bosses. as much as i want to continue studying, i can't. and i realise how the working world really differs from the academic world. i realise we do work everyday and anytime in the academic world. but in the working world, there's off days and weekends to always bank on. so it really makes you wonder... who works harder.. students or those in offices.

you know what i'm thinking now? what if i make a lousy photographer. i dunno it's just a thought. but it's not baseless. cos ramani put a comment and said the photos in our mag were not very good. maybe i shouldn't let him dictate how good or bad a photographer i am. but still...

anyway, i like these photos.
taken from tylerhilton.com

anyway, to yawen: have a blessed 20th birthday!

Once and Again

this is crazy. draft 1, draft 2, draft 3 and more just for a small piece of paper that measures 70mm by 148.5 mm. yes, unbelievable. i'm still quite sore that she pays me by project cos i realy thought it was by artwork. cos i already did 8 pieces and because she gone by project i earned half as much as if she paid by artwork. shyte.

well well. life's like that.

did i say that my cousin melissa is getting married? yes, june 3rd. i love weddings. i'm making a bookmark in my calendar.

hmmm well i got a decision to make. a canon eos66 for $200. its one year old. i get to "test drive" it. well i'm seriously thinking of buying it. thanks to XB for the connection. opinions anyone?

well back to work for me.

130 Random Questions

130 Random Questions
When was the last time you cried?:	hmmm 2 weeks ago?
Have you ever faked sick?:	once too many
What was the last lie you said?:	that i lost my voice
Have you ever cried during a movie?:	YEAH
Who was the last person you couldn't take your eyes off of?:	hmmm that guy at the zara store...
Have you ever danced in the rain?:	nope..
Have you ever been drunk?:	yes... once and please never again
Have you ever tried tried drugs?:	NOPE
Do you smoke?:	neither
What's the farthest you've ever gone on a dare?:	kissing a girl
What is your full name?:	chen jieyi abigail
What is your blood-type?:	A+
Have you ever been in a car accident?:	nope
How old were you when you recieved your first kiss?:	hahahaah not yet... i'm saving it
Who was your first kiss?:	look above
Have you ever had an online relationship?:	yeah, i have many....
Have you ever had phone-sex?:	no.
Have you ever been rejected by a crush?:	yesh
What is your favourite sport to play?:	tennis
Have you ever made a prank phone call?:	duhhhh...
Have you ever said "I Love you" and not meant it?:	yes
What's your favourite childhood memory?:	hmmm... i'd say the night where my old bro and sis and i ran around the house pretending the feather duster was a monster. it's hilarious!
Is there anything that you have done that you regret?:	yeah there is...
What do you want to be when you grow up?:	hmmm neurosurgeon... but its not happening
What is your political persuassion?:	i'm rather apathetic in this area
Have you ever had cybersex?:	NOPE
Do you believe in g-d?:	yeahhhh
Do you believe in love at first sight?:	no not really
Do you believe in karma?:	YES.. i do.
Who was your first crush?:	hhahahah this guy called james
Who do yo uhave a crush on?:	now? i have da celebrity crush - josh holloway
How would you describe yourself?:	i'd say i'm just ur average jane
What are you afraid of?:	hmmmm going to hel
Are you religious?:	yesh
What does your screen name mean?:	it means "Will you try to live the way of which you speak?"
What person do you trust the most?:	myself
Who was your first boyfriend/girlfriend?:	not yet
What is the best compliment you have ever recieved?:	that i'm smart!
What is the meanest thing anyone has said about you?:	that i'm the bitch who stole her boyfriend
What is the longest crush/relationship you have had?:	3 months
What is your greatest strength?:	my critical thinking and perfectionism
What is your greatest weakness?:	workaholic-ism
What is your perfect pizza?:	i dun really fancy pizzas
What is your first thought when waking up in the morning?:	what time is it?
What is your first thought before you go to bed?:	what time is it? because the first thought before i go to bed is the first thought of the day. makes sense doesn;t it... i suggest u ask what is the last thought..
What college do you want to go to?:	NYU would be good enough for me
Do you get along with your family?:	yea i guess
Do you play any instruments?:	yeap 3
What kind of music do you like?:	acoustic
Do you think you're attractive?:	erm... i guess everyone is attractive.. its a matter of personal taste
Would you ever get a tattoo?:	nope nope nope
How many piercings do you have?:	zilch
Who makes you laugh?:	liz, yawen, nic, aggie, grace, lynn, pearl and darren
Who would you want to be tied to for 24hours?:	hmmm a totally hottie
Have you ever seen a dead body?:	nope
Do you have a celebrity crush?:	yessssss.gosh he's gorgeous!
What is one thing scientists should invent?:	a "make guys not jerks" potion
Have you ever broken a bone?:	nope
What happens after you die?:	hopefully i go to heaven
Do you watch or read the news?:	both
What stereotype would you label yourself as being?:	bimbo
Would your friends agree with that stereotypic label?:	yes... they gave me the label
If yo ucould change your name, what would you change it to?:	i wouldn't change my name
If you could go back in time to one point in your life, where would you go:	a year ago
If you could change anything about yourself, what would you change?:	my height and my unleaness
Have you ever gone skinny dipping?:	nope.
Have you ever played strip poker?:	sorta
Would you ever lie to someone to make them feel good about themselves?:	maybe.. really depends on who
What do you want your friends to think about you?:	i'm fabulous
Whats the biggest argument you've ever gotten into?:	telliong this guys that he's a self absorbed asshole who deserves nothing more than a slap
HAve you ever bitten someone?:	yeapppp
When's your birthday?:	29 dec
Have you ever stolen anything?:	as shameful as it is to admit... yes
Do you make wishes on shooting stars?:	all the time
Whats the most you've ever eaten in one sitting?:	hahaha i dunno trust me its alot
If you could go back and change one day, what would it be?:	it would be the day i met him
Do you remember your dreams?:	sometimes
Have you ever been in love?:	not really i guess
Are you a morning person or a night person?:	hmmmm can i say a 24 hr person?
Do you have any phobias?:	yeahhhh...
What's the meanest thing you've ever done to someone?:	i dunno but i've done alot of mean things.... so yeah
Have you ever been to the hospital (other then birth?:	yeap yeap
How many screen names do you have?:	alot...
Do any medical problems run in your family?:	yea...
Have anyone ever been disowned from your family?:	nope, close to tho'
Have you ever had a nightmare?:	yeap tons
Do you say meaner things to your friends or your enemies?:	enemies duh
Would you ever participate in a threesome?:	nope
Would you ever pay for a prostititue?:	nope, its degrading both ways
Have you ever mooned or flashed someone?:	nope
Have you ever cheated on your bf/gf?:	i never had a bf... so whaddaya think
Have you ever laughed so hard you peed in your pants?:	nope
Have you ever written a love letter?:	nope
Have you ever attempted suicide?:	nope
Do you prefer boxers or briefs?:	boxers
Have you ever been in a fistfight?:	nope
Do you have any hidden talents?:	hmmmm... that's for you to find out
What is one thing you want me to know about you?:	erm... my name?
What is one question you wouldn't want me to ask?:	ermmmm i'll know when you do ask...
Do you usually prefer books or movies?:	movies
Who is your favourite person to talk to?:	myself?
Who is always able to cheer you up when you're sad?:	hmmmm i dunno no one?
Would you ever have sex before marriage?:	nope
Who do you talk to most on the phone?:	now? erm yawen.
Do you have a secret that yo'ure ashamed of?:	yeah
Do you prefer british or american spelling of words?:	british
Have you ever gotten detention?:	yeah
How do you vent your anger?:	scream shout swear
Have you ever been on a diet?:	yeah
Would you ever date someone younger than you? Older than you?:	older older older
Is your best friend a virgin?:	i hope so
What's a rumor someone has spread about you?:	that i'm in love with a lecturer. like hello.
What's the kinkiest thing you could ever actually see yourself as doing?:	hahahah i dunno
What's the meanest thing anyone has ever done to you?:	spread really bad rumors about me...
What's the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you?:	has anyone been nice to me?
Have you ever been diagnosed with a mental illness?:	nope
Have you ever cut yourself on purpose?:	naaah
Have you ever wanted to murder someone?:	hmmm maybe... maybe not
Have you ever hated someone?:	yesh... once to many
Do you prefer talking on the phone or online?:	depends to who
Do you consider yourself popular?:	nope
Would you ever tell the person you have a crush on that you like them?:	yeah
Have you ever had a crush on an enemy?:	nope
Have you ever had a crush on a best friend?:	yeah
What is your favourite book?:	i dun really have one
Do you have a collection of anything?:	ermmmm postcards
Are you happy with the person you are becoming?:	sometimes.. a lil bit here and there
Are you a different person now then you were 5 years ago?:	yeah definately
What do you see yourself as being in 5 years from now?:	hmm workaholic
Are you happy with the life you have?:	not fully... but i guess i'm content
Take this survey | Find more surveys You've been totally Bzoink*d

Why am I doing this?

great. i've finally met Esther.

my cousins and aunt from new zealand are back. for about a month or so. so joshua's really grown. i'm serious! the last time i saw him he was a scrawny little kid. now he's like short and stout. and damn he looks alot like Mark - whom i haven't seen in ages either.

oh wells. time really FLIES.

now why am i blogging?

okay go away abigail.

i notice i like to talk to myself.

Happy April Fools

i've about $315 more to earn to reach my $600 for my ibook which is coming on thurs! yipee! well and then there's my camera. SHYTE. i'm so short on cash. bleah. someone help me.

anyway, i watched ICE AGE 2 already! haha! its super funny, although the first one was better i think. but this one is still worth the 8 bucks. fire king!! haha! hmmm, i watch it at the reopened cathay cinema!!!! finally. they call it THE GRAND CATHAY. well, i say it deserves its name. all it needs is the balcony seats to convince me it is a theatre instead of a cinema. anyway, i love this new song by Gavin Degraw. i can't find the Mp3 though. guess i'll have to wait for the album release or the Tristan and Isolde soundtrack. i'm so gonna catch that movie.

so i tell you what i need now. more jobs. whatever happened to the menu design job. *ponders*. hope that covers my camera.

We Belong Together
by Gavin DeGraw

We belong together,
Like the open seas and shores.
Wedded by the planet floor,
We've all been spoken for.

The hammer may strike,
Me dead on the ground,
A nail to my hand,
A cross on his crown.
We're done if, who we're undone,
Finished if who we are incomplete.
As one we are everything,
We are everything we need.

We belong together,
Like the open seas and shores.
Wedded by the planet floor,
We've all been spoken for.

What good is a life,
With no one to share,
The light of the moon,
The honor of a swear?
Will you try to live the way of which you speak?
Taste the milk of your mother earth's love?
Spread the word of consciousness you see?
We are everything we need.

We belong together,
Like the open seas and shores.
Wedded by the planet floor,
We've all been spoken for.

All this indecision.
All this independent strain.
Still we've got our hearts on save,
We've got our hearts on save.

Someday when you're lonely,
Sometime after all this bliss,
Somewhere lost in emptiness,
I hope you find this gift.
I hope you find this gift.
I hope you find this gift.

ta-ta. Happy april fools (or whatever's laft of it) guys or girls for that matter!

Now, who wants to grow up. i'd say "NOT ME"

okay, i admit.

work is seriously boring. i rather be studying. as in schooling not studying. you know there's a difference. somehow, growing up doesn't seem all so appealing anymore. growing up means more responsibility. means more problems. means more baggage. which means less time to live. so how does growing up sound again? now it sounds like it totally SUCKS. yeah tell me about it. i just wish i were two again. where my biggest trouble would be ermmm... i think soiled diapers? gosh life was so simple back then huh?

anyway, i got my three modules. adv advert, IDM and photojourn. and what does that mean? less money. why? i have to pay for my camera. GREAT. which means what? more work. how dreadful. okay someone tell me... why am i always complaining. UGH.

back to the point. thanks nicole. i'm stuck with you for another yr. which makes that 3 years!!! how fated are we!?! *opens eyes wide is wonderous amazement*. right. okay abigail, cut the drama. i'm not saying its bad. but hey, a good three years. hmmm well... and yawen another yr. hey. that spells a four.. no five letter word. GREAT. i'm sorry grace. i don't have the fourtune of being in the same class as you but hey photojourn is enough i guess. and to reka. wow to adv advert. we'll see each other hey? so i guess i'm in for a ride for year 3. i hope. its gonna be fun guys. hahah! imagine all the sleepless nights. hmmm. fun with the capital F. hahah!

cheers.

Enough is Enough

It's one of those days again.

where life beats the crap out of you. and all you do is sit there and ask questions that you never get the answers to. then, it comes to the part where you need an outlet. and trust me this stupid blog is NOT enough. and you just ask where are all the people you can depend on. and then you ask for more again.

when you ask for more, you never get what you ask. and then what you don't ask for piles on you generously. who in the world asks for problems. and then i feel so frustrated but i feel obliged to be unfrustrated. and everyone just doesn't get it. no one ever does.

honestly ask yourself, you think anyone would ever be able to feel exactly the same about one thing as you. i mean then where's the uniqueness. so there, no one will ever get it the way you do.

then there's the people you wish would come and help you out in these kinda crappy situations because that's the least they could do. and no, they sit there and say "that's your business abigail."

yes, don't give a damn. don't expect me to help you when you ever need help again. BASTARD. or busted. UGH.

when is enough ever enough?

What a Ride.

okay first up, thank you darren for the ride back. familiarise yourself with the roads. then you'll be a better driver by the chalet! hahaha

okay so today was fun but tiring too. the roadshow. gosh its was crazy. seriously. nic and i are such convincing people! ahha. this is fun! ahha. dovan and brendan made it more fun. haha! thanks for believing our act... which in turn amused us! hahah!

well, well. i dunno today was quite a ride. anyway, you know what?! my CD drive is WORKING!!! it's actually working now?! like hello!!!

sheesh. this is seriously a practical joke.

swish, swoosh, whoops!

lame.

toodles.