stop messing with me head

i'm really messed up now.

the deprived sleep, the work and the YOU.
that feeling has faded. the feeling of relief. it has faded. long gone. lost. forgotten. now all that remains is the nostalgia. take that away and all that is left is you. as amazing it may seem, yes, you would be all that remains. try to take you away and what would be left is pain. the imprint of you. your shadow. but that is not what i want. all i want is you. not to possess you, but to be there for you. is it that difficult to acknowledge me? am i not good enough for you? no one is ever good enough for you aren't they. they're only good for a while. you don't get to judge me. you don't. because you've said so much and only done so little. all those empty promises. you trample on them, i know you do. because, i'm not good enough for your stupid promises. no, i'm not worth at least that much. you know why you will never get it, because what you're afraid of, will always come back round and shoot you in youur back when you least expect it. and one day, it'll come around. it will. it's give and take. i've been giving too much. and what i give you don't appreciate. i'm always the one taking the first step to salvage what's left of this stupid friendship, which sometimes i doubt is worth saving. am i one of those people that is not worth knowing? am i one of those who you think you don't need in your life. REDUNDANT. is that what i am to you? am i?

and as for you. i trusted you and you turn around and publicise what i tell you that's meant to be left in the secret. i got you all wrong. to think i even defended you. how dumb of me. how dumb.

"smile and the world smiles with you. cry and you cry alone".

now that's me.