robin's right. i should just move on. how many times have i said this to myself? countless. oh wells. its always the case. i say something and i never get down to doing it. cos i don't want to... blahhh. and you all know why i don't want to. cos holding on always feels nicer than letting go.

bah. back to happy things. happy thoughts. or not so happy but rather frustrating. i'm still stuck at anchorpoint! its freaking boring?!!! like hello?! you pay me five bucks an hour to stand there and stone. come on, it can't get any better, but no thank you. bah please send me back to PS, i beg you. i like it there. haqiem, erica, zai yong, mei ling, david, andrew, jason, sakun, guan yee.... soo much better. so please let me be back there.

that aside, hmmm i dunno my life is sooo boring. i mean okay, yeah, whatever. i don't even know what i'm saying. what i'm saying is... I DON'T KNOW?!! blah. you know what, let me let you in on something. i wanna get married, and the only reason why i want to get married is the wedding. of cos i want to get married to a rich guy so i can have a nice wedding. then divorce him the next day. but that's sooo mean. haha and not like a rich guy will wanna marry me. ahha! bleah. but i'm kinda in love with weddings now. really. maybe its just the whole love thing rubbing off me. bahhh! but its true that every girl's dream is the perfect wedding. i guess. i think.

the perfect white dress, the perfect groom, the perfect place, its never rainy on a wedding day, the flowers, the bridemaids, the people, the car, right down to the forks and knives on the wedding dinner table.

dreams. have you ever sat down and thought which of your dreams ever came true? seriously. i shall start.

when i was in kindergarden, i dreamt of going to a non neighbourhood primary school. but did that happen? no. i mean after all, this kinda isn't your decision right? so oh wells. i lived with it. then when i was in primary school. i wished that i could get into a prestegious secondary school so i studied, unfortunately, not hard enough. but STC did fine for me. when i was in sec school, i competed in track right. so i always wanted to get an interschool medal, for that matter be good enough to be selected to be in team singapore. but tell me about it, i was soooo close and then there always had to be a screw up and whoosh the wind blows it far from me. then i tell myself, i need to study hard to get a schorlarship to go overseas to study. i wanted to do medicine, for real. but i never got that schorlarship and i end up still in spore studying communications. but i'm enjoying it.

its weird how your life feels soooo scripted. like it always happens this way in movies. especially when it comes to relationships. how your life is never in your hands. it is a fact, your life is not in your own hands. believe or not, your life is in the hands of the almighty.