It seems like forever

i had to drag myself out of bed this morning. I was so dead tired i couldn'tt keep my eyes open on the bus. And i hate sleeping on public transport. Somehow you, rather I, just don't feel safe. What made it worse was that the bus journey today was awfully long. 99 usually takes me 20 - 30 mins to get from home to clementi. today it took freaking 50 mins. And that made me almost late for Advert class. I stepped into class sat down and jenny started roll call. And the reason why i can never be late for class is because i'm first on the register. so i'm always the first to be marked absent - that is if i'm late. So i was barely awake through lecture and consultation. And then kept myself awake during discussion, which i don't think i was in a very pleasant mood. Sorry guys. And then i couldn't take it any longer where i cabbed down to church to sleep. for 4 hours and i still wake up exhuasted. Which i still am now. i dunno how or why!

i'm gonna start shooting tmr. i think. gnna head down to *scape. try to get a few good shots. then maybe walk down orchard road get a few other shots. then i dunno head down to church? cos i'll be so freaking tired. I PREDICT. i'll probably waste the day sleeping again. i can't believe i actually HAVE NOT WATCHED GREY'S ANATOMY! like HELLO.

anyway, as i said i'm really tired. and then there's you who's reallly exhausting. REALLY.

goodnight.

i wish that those days lasted FOREVER

You're taking me on a rollercoster ride.

this is really crappy. WHAT a crappy week. Daniel Powter's Bad Day has probably been my anthem for the past 4 days.

now i;m sitting here waiting for 1 am so i can pop in my last two pills so i can go sleep and rest. YES, i'm sick. With freaking tonsilitis. i told you this week is crappy. I've never taken so much meds in one day before. i have like 4 differrent pills and a cough syrup. this really sucks. And the worst part about have tonsilitis?! I CAN'T FREAKING EAT CHOCOLATE! give me a break man! first it was shingles then now its this. SERIOUSLY?!

so when i woke up i tried to do flash right. And because of the fever that comes with tonsilitis all i did was stare at frames that made my head ACHE and made me dizzy.

i took at break and watched madame butterfly. it was not as good as i expected it to be. but it definately beats memoirs of a geisha hands down. then i went to sleep because i couldn't take it any longer and i woke up with the same spliting headache just that is was worse. by then i was half lucid. half lucidly, i went down to the doc who offered me an MC till sat and i said no friday is enough. And then i reach home to realise that tthe MC till sat was my chance to skip SYMC and i miss it.

just like how i missed that chance with you. DAMN IT.

FRAMES make me dizzy and sends me into a fit.

so then monday was nice, tuesday was okay and wednesday was crap and now thursday is bullshit.

i'm not your toy. decide if you want to throw me away or you want to keep me.

just know that i'm always here.

Tired, Scary and Damaged

I'm so tired all of a sudden.

well, i woke up around 10 plus today and started doing FLASH again. Gosh, i tell you, after a long 5 hours at it, all i'm at is the freaking introduction. IT REALLY SUCKS. i'm on the verge of giving up on flash and ike doing a freaking powerpoint presentation.

so then i did a little more of other work then i headed down to huiyi's place for pohkwan's farewell. hahah i had fun. huiyi has a nice sexy voice thanks to her cough and von was especially whiny due to her fever.

and pohkwan.. ALL THE BEST on your mission trip! i'll pray for you! hahah! yeah and erm, don't get lost or kidnapped and end up worrking in a weird profession. yeah, you get the drift. lol!

and today i was just thinking. i'm not recovered. NOT fully recovered from whatever.

so today, all i am in all is TIRED, SCARY AND DAMAGED.

P.S. Reka i love you! youu rock! you're my pharmacist. hahah!

Some Things Never Change

hahha. i went out after church yesterday. to watch poseidon.

haha the movie was good DEFINATELY better than m:i:3 without a doubt. of cos there's dreamy blue eyes in the movie. but this time he's not so dreamy. he's more of the let's go kick some ass attitude guy. kurt russell looksn scary dead underwater and robin wants to see a tidal wave in real life. LIKE HELLO?! according the wave is SO MAJESTIC that he has to see it with his own eyes. LIKE RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT.

okay so then, i had my moment yesterday. OMFG after 8 years on this planet, i was finally kindly enlightened by DANIEL that UP is not plainly up but usual price in those sale posters! i mean i knew U.P. was usual price but not UP. damn that was so freaking embarrasing. i'm like OMG i need to bury my head in the ground NOW. And that was not the only incident. gosh.

there's so many more movies to watch... X3 is out this thurs, I'm thinking about catching The Da Vinci Code, there's the french show l'enfant. which no one else wants to watch. or at least not that i know off. bleah.

and there's IDM due like in freaking 2 weeks! oh shit i'm starting to panic. man i HATE mondays. WISP is freaking boring. and i so totallly CANNOT stand the voice. and the kinda "intelligent" answers that some people can give. OMG you're freaking 18 and you don't even know what would happen if crude oil ran out. like "cooking oil will become more expensive". OMG OMG OMG.

anyway, photojourn is fun. i HEART photojourn.

well, after yesterday, it's true. SOMETHINGS NEVER CHANGE.

WARNING: This is a LIFE SUCKS post

I'm freaking sitting here on a thursday evening tired froom looking at freaking frames and motion and shape tweens.

i can safely say that i'm a wreck. i'm having this uncomfortable stomach, throat and nose. and for already 4 days. really sucks. and then i have these stupid headaches that are spelly in nature. which officially SUCKS. BIG TIME.

and then i have this stupid problem that is SO NEVER GONNA be fully resolved. which i think is giving me the headaches.

and then i have this financial problem where i'm so freaking broke i can't even afford to pay for a phone to replace my LOST phone. a side note: I don't have the money, not the parents. AND i'm making an effort to be financially INDEPENDENT with the given 400 bucks i get every month; which miraculously never fails to disappear rapidly in the first half of the month then leaving em broke till the end of the month. And then there's the 100 bucks that needs to be paid for the photojourn chemicals. and i want to buy the media law textbook which costs another 50 bucks. and i wanna pay back a "debt" of 150 bucks to someone. so that leaves me a credit of 200 bucks which i SO DO NOT HAVE.

complain complain complain.

i need to stop.

i need twin therapy. i need noah therapy. i need grey's therapy.

i'm stuck at the episode where DEREK is FREAKING PISSED at MEREDITH because of something she SO DID NOT DO. and why because he's still SO no over her. 0224 - Damage Case. UGH. move on move on move on.

Long Over Due

I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN.

I SHOULD HAVE.

I've beeen so blind and dumb. i mean since when wasn't i. SINCE WHEN?!

UGH.

just rip out my guts. or shoot me in the head. i bet it'd be a less paintful death. TRUST ME.

It's One of Those Days

this is freaking unfair.

i hate being this way. i really hate it.

gosh.

so you think. and i thought so too.

i'm angry, frustrated, irritated, confused, lost, upset, screwed (more politely that f***ed) up, shaken all at one go. try feeling that way all in less than a day. and then ttry feeling that way and pretend that you are not that way. just for the sake of exteriors. JUST OR TTHE SAKE OF EXTERIORS and looking freaking perfect and jolly and happy. try that.

i have that ringing in my head which i get when i feel like crap.

just to let you know, i feel worse than crap.

FREAK.

FREAK.

FREAK.

flash is gonna be the death of me

i hate flash, i suck at flash and my flash clip is hopelessly hopeless.

face it, flash is SO not my cup of tea.

i'm so tired. very very tired. the only thing that can cure me at this very moment is probably grey's anatomy.

i am so over. my life is so over.

i just realised i got so mant things to do starting after sabbath. for pete's sake. they keep giving me last minute jobs. annd it's not like they pay well.

i lost my phone btw, so people who actualy read my blog? drop me sms to tell me your number. i lost 117 contacts from my previous phonebook. man it really sucks.

my eyes are barely open. BARELY. i feel freaking miserable now. FREAKING miserable. i'm being treated like TRASH. TRASH. TRASH by you, you, you. i don't need this treatment; not from you, not from anyone else.

"this is the part where the four letttered swear word starting with an "f" spews out*

as jenny low would have put it in yr 2 - CURRY FISH HEAD.

Life is Unfair... PIECE OF SHIT

okay i admit, i was damn freaking desperate to get into IMC. that the email sounded so freaking desperate. wonder what it sounded like to whoever it was addressed to. GOSH. nevermind that's over. so i'm still in IDM and maybe it's good i am. learn how to actually do FLASH. i actually drew my squid already. muhaahaha. so proud of myself. at least step 1's over and done with.

i was just thinking, what the hell do i want to do after i finish poly. i mean afterall i'm in my third year already. i'm graduating in feb next year. CRAP, time flies. what i really wanna do after poly is go back to school, not the same school - to univerrsity. get a freaking degree. a good one for that matter, in advertising. but gosh, where the hell am i gonna get the money right? bleah. life is so unfair. some people just are born with the privilledge. hello, first the states then netherlands? gosh i swear some people are just tooo darn prvilledged. UGH. okay fine.. stop complaining. but i think i'm really gonna work my ass off to get a scholarship. that would be just great. but i honestly don't think it's gonna happen. i mean seriously. i can kiss my freaking degree goodbye now. there.

nevermind, i shall just aim on backpacking Europe.

well, well, what do we have here. i just heard something really lame. but it's worth the mention. a new way to avoid swearing when you wanna swear. "what the h e double toothpicks". lol. okay which reminds me, reka just reminded me how long have i not used the phrase "piece of shit". haha! i remember the verbal diahorrea of that phrase when i was in year one. SERIOUSLY. i remember grace, megan, pearl, reka and darren being able to predict when that phrase would spew out of my mouth. of cos it was not a great feat though; cos i used to so often that i could count it as punctuation for my sentences. lol!

okay my squid is so gonna be callled squid. "qi-qi" is one of the most ridiculous names for a squid. and a squid was named squid forr a reason. so my squid is called squid. so don;t ask me whatt my squid is called. because my squid is a FREAKING PIECE OF SHIT SQUID! okay freaking piece of shit was a collective phrase used as an adjective. there.

i'm a load of bullcrap now.

libel is defamation in a permanent form, written or spoken. e.g. blogs, newspapers, tv, radio.

now that was random. i just thought of it all of a sudden. media law is seriously the only module that i actually feel that i learning something new. i mean even in advanced adverrtising. its just reinforcing what we learnt in year 2.

okay, i've officially have nothing more to say. FOR NOW.

i should come up with a disclaimer to post with every blog entry so i don't get sued :p