i notice, i blog mostly on sundays, saturdays and holidays. i guess it only makes sense cos those are the days that i'm relatively free.

anyway, today was the first day of lunar new year. and well it was very enjoyable. aunt sally has a new found obsession - the camera. its really kinda a trend that retirees and older adults tend to pick up photography. okay that does not include me. i intend to make photography my living. so well, back to the point was that we sat into the mahjong room trying to figure out the game and then i decided, not today. so i went out and they were watching kung fu hustle. so i decided to take a sneek peek at this golden globe nominee. then it ended and it was time for "cham cha". and when it came to my turn, my mom shouted,

"mass comm! mass comm! see what she has to say!"

and i'm like.. i'm barely fluent in chinese! so i just said my piece really quick and softly so i don't embarass myself. so then we all sat down cos it was the austrlian open men's singles final. yes, federer won. DUH. marcos obviously could not keep up with him... but he did spring a few surprises. I MISS TENNIS. I WANNA PLAY! well okay.. then we had dinner and then we decided to sit down for a card game and then aaron and pearl joined it and damn we had a blast.

and i need to remember its spelt definitely not definately. thanks for the english lesson - you know who. hahah.

so yesterday night, or rather early this mornins steph and i were up in bed talking alot and i realised that this last year of my life or maybe last two years has been soooo happening. as in, alot of stuff has happened. what a ride.

i'm gonna get my ibook soon. anyone wanan buy my toshiba A100? its pretty fine. lol! i have to ell it so i got money to buy my ibook... oh and my SLR too. please, someone donate to the abigail dream fund. because i wanna pursue my dreams. sigh. dreams. dreams. that includes you. maybe this is all a dream and i'll wake up to find that everything that has happened has not happened. okay what am i saying. i should shut up already, cos i'm starting to spout nonsense....

but before i take a bow, i would like to wish my two lil' darlins, caleb and joshua, a very blessed 2nd birthday! time really flies, i still can remember myself fawning over their birth. damn i sound old. anyway, to you two, cheers!

the lunar new year is here. it's so quick. very quick. time has been flying past so quick that i can't anticipate anything at all. its like everything just comes right smack in your face. good or bad, you decide. well, to me it doesn't really matter does it? because all i want is for time to rewind and stand still at that moment. just there. or maybe for time to rewind and undo whatever has been done.

i watched ROME today. this episode is so darn bloody heart wrenching. sometimes, really, the people who you least expect to care about you, care about you most. and sometimes, all you can do is sit there helplessly and watch them suffer. worst of all, is to sit there helplessly not because you want to, but because you have to. for some reason, after watching ROME, i really hate gaius julius ceasar.

then, i watched LOST. and i really can't wait to get on to the next episode. GAH. and i spoke with david last night, yes, dejapong. he was really being himself, just lame. it was fun catching up with him. i haven't seen him in ages, or sandy for that matter. probably a long 5 fleeting years. the ironies of the english language. like how they can call change constant when constant is unchanging. so its like unchanging change. bleah.

and what was the majority of the rest of my day spent doing? tidying up, bumming around and tidying up. the downside of chinese new year. they spring cleaning and tidying. the upside? getting together with cousins and relatives and i shall not mask my excitement on the money side. although its gonna be channelled into my savings, i hope i can draw on it when i wanna get my ibook or SLR. i hope.

so what was sabbath like? just the usual stuff. we celebrated the twin's birthday tho'. its so quick they're actually 2 years old already. the age of reason. ha. soon they'll go to school and whatever else will happen. it'll be quite exciting to actually see them grow up tho.

anyway, i've been really thinking about what i wanna do. but i simply just can't put my finger on it. i'm really enticed byt he idea of photojournalism. the travel, the people most of all the pictures and experiences. then for advertising, the concepts, the design, the newness, the challenge. helpme decide please someone! then i was looking through my old work trying to find the business plan i did for MM or benita. and i came to my marketing stuff and i really am proud of it. really proud. come to think of it, i really enjoyed marketing. maybe its just because the lectures where forever interesting (thanks mr lo.) but i don't think its just that. the whole concept of selling something its very appealing. the amount of power you weild, to controlt eh consumer's mind. very interesting.

so much to say today. haha. not like that's new. but oh wells. anyway, i leave you with a pic that i love. here's the adorable joshua. and why i love this picture, is because of the innocence and carefree -ness of the picture. and joy, just by looking at it, you smile. maybe its just me. but that's how i feel.



hmmm. oh wells. anyway, i guess i'm still hung up on him. i thought i wasn't. but that day when yi sze mentioned it i was jsut hit by a sudden realisation. but i really need to get over him really. its like i was so afraid of loosing him, now i have and there's really nothing i can do. but maybe that's why i lost him. maybe...

this post is for all the people in my life. yesterday when elaine thanked me for playing and helping look after the twins, i realised how much a lil' thought or help could mean to someone. and to all of you out there who have been endlessly there for me. thank you all. however cliched this is gonna sound, i hope that i can be there for you guys when u need me to be there. and you guys will never walk out of my life. too many people have done that already. at least i let them. sometimes, i regret. but its probably too late for regrets.

that includes you. although u'll never read this. i know you never will. i really hope that we can go back to the way we were. just simple friends. just friends. put it all behind us. start over. i cannot lose your friendship. you're too good a friend to leave behind.

well, its been a pretty good week.

although the work has been just getting more. i've just been cruising along. letting everything fall into its place. everything will fall in place. i guess. yawen and i had stayed up all thurs night and fri morning doing layout and talking rubbish and foolin' around. it was fun. i'm proud of the work i've done. lol. my designer article layout. love it to bits. hahah! and the article too. i like it alot. very proud of it. hahah! i would post it if not for the fear of pirates and hijackers. bah. it seems8 like my webjournal is due in about a week or two and i'm still stuck at 5 pages. i need divine inspiration. inspiration is not enough. i need DIVINE inspiration. of and did i say? i got a freakin' A for my webfolio. how unbelievable. i'm quite shocked. i thought i'd get a B or a C at most. bah oh wells. but i'm happy. i seem to be doing pretty well this sem. hope it continues this way. i'm on my way to my 3.2 GPA. WHEEE.

anyway i got a decision to make again. sheesh i hate making decisions. cos you never know if you made the right one. of you always got this feeling, that marketers call cognitive dissonance that you wonder what would have been if you had chosen the other. that's what i feel. well anyway i need to decide my modules for yr 3. i know its a long way to go. although i kinda decided on three of the (adv advert, IMC and photojourn) i heard that they're all killer modules. and taking all three of them at a shot together with MSEANA and Media Law. would that be hell? i don't know. and then after that should i continues studying to get my advertising degree or should i work. AHHHHH plannig for the future already? how rare of me to do that. sometimes i can't recognise myself already. have i changed that much?

its weird. how someone can change over such a short period of time. i think i've changed tons. for better or for worse? you choose but i know i have. i hope for the better. time flies and people and things change. just in a blink of an eye. with the advancement of technology this is made no more difficult. change. its probably the most constant thing on this planet. how ironic. there'a always change. the ironies of life.

well, i'm starting to let go. i can feel it already. it's good i think. i hope i'm doing the right thing. everyone tells me its the right thing to do. fanny, robin, szela. well three of them that is, the only three who knows. haha! its weird how three of them are soo different people.

kick back and relax because, life's JUST A RIDE.

again, why am i blogging at this ungodly hour at 10 am in the morning is because my dear PR group member are freakin' late. tardiness, gosh can't anyone ever be on time? i do not exclude myself because i am too, late sometimes. but as far as it is possible with me, i'm early (at least i try my very best to). unless you're those people who i just wanna piss off and i can't be bothered with you. but those on that list, quite few i guess.

anyway, i was highly disturbed yesterday during comm iss lecture. the topic of discussion was violence and pornography in the media. as we all know our dear mr brain... typo: brian... lee is very fond of lining up clips for us to watch. i admit those clips were full of violence and vulgarities and i still could tolerate them. i am desensitised. but what disturbed me more was the reaction of others to those clips. they laugh, they jeer at them. whatever happen to compassion in this world. yeah, it may seem comical but do realise that what you're gaining your entertainment from is other's pain and suffering. why don;t you put urself in that person's shoes and think about it for a moment. i honestly don't think you'd be laughing if that person in the very same clip was you. whatever has happened to this world. have we all become so debased and twisted that we rejoice in other people's suffering? justice barely thrives now. what a pity.

i've said my piece.

toodles.

i'm done with my feat 2! wheeee!!! hip hip hurrah!!!

right. so now i'm left with the photo takings for feat writing. photos photos photos. i'm not a cam whore, i prefer to be behind the camera, not infront of it. i wanna take photojourn. analog SLR please. speaking of journ, i've decided to turn down the trimedia thing. so its IAP for me - advertising, advertising advertising. i wish i can get a good one. hoping. crossing my fingers. but of cos its all up to Him.

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okay random. just felt like doing that.

today was a well spent day, in aid of the spastic children association of singapore. okay it was szela's event, i merely helped out. thanks szela for "employing" me today. hahah! right. so there was frist lionel lewis, then randall tan. and thanks to the very generous gopi who willingly paid 10 bucks to dunk me. my heart was dropping off my ribs. fortunate enough he was using the softball so i didn't go down or else, i'd be in and out 4 times! drenched. it was a pity though that jlo didn't go up; he'd be a great source of income. hahah! there was a queue to dunk him. pity, pity.

anyway, i'm watching grey's anatomy. i love the show. love it. i really wish i had the money, i'd be studying medicine if i did. wonder what i'm doing in mass comm. but as always, in life that's how things are. if you can't get your first choice, you settle for second.

just a ride. just a ride.

Intimacy is a four syllable word for "Here are my heart and soul - please grind them into hamburger and enjoy.

this past week has been full of ups and downs. but that's how life is isn't it.

anyway, i just came back from jason's and sabrina's wedding. got some nice photos. not splendid though cos the cam wasn't with me the whole while. i want my analog SLR. i want photojourn. i'm uploading the photos now. so if u want a peep at them just go on ahead over to my links. don't be shy, its free for all. just don't claim it as yours.

well. did i mention that i got into the trimedia design team. but i can't decide if i'd take that or IAP. there are its pros and cons. if i take trimedia, my portfolio will be huge. but its not something that i really wanna do. my passion lies in ad creatives which i know does not really belong in the NP mass comm field. more towards TP and LaSalle. But heck. so i'm still trying to decide. but i'm leaning toward IAP. guys offer your advice please.

i just found out this week that what we know or what we think we know about others is not always what it is in reality. i learned that there are moments where we think a person is just simply feeling down and we don't bother to look him/her up, you might regret it later when u learn that its more than just that. its pretty uncomforting. you never know when u'll loose someone. sometimes, even the person closest to you without knowing it. i did, i regret that. it still sticks with me. i feel like he/she is just a whole new person now. a total stranger. foreign and cold. i can't even look at him/her the same ever again. no, never. its saddening.

i guess there's always something better ahead. all things work out for good for those who love Him. for now, i'll just try to look forward.

anyway, school's been looking up for me. i'll try to keep working hard. i want my 3.2 GPA. push on abigail.

my heart skipped today when i heard the mentioned of your name.

okay i have to post because i have to apologise to sinamex for the libel.

it was my guitar fret that was worn out. but its was still kinda their fault that they didn't. but fortunately, doc. steve the guitar doctor (i know it sounds cheesy) is kind enough to say he ain't charging me for workmanship but only for the fret. but its still a painful $45 from my pocket. which is totally empty now. and i still owe M1 $48. so that amounts to a total debt of $93 which i can't pay. and i still owe nic $8.50 for the movie. shit. i'm in deep shit. very deep. if only i could get my dad to pay the $45. i'll try later.


anyway, i'm off to do my web journal.

creative juices flow.

i hope things can be what they used to be. that's all i'm asking for.

i'm just blogging because i'm bored and i have nothing to do in school because NICOLE GOH SHU LUAN is freaking late. she's supposed to meet me at 930 but its already 10 and she's still waiting for a bus a her house bus stop. brilliance. true brilliance.

the killer is over. its finally a calm sea again. all assignments are past and what's ahead of me? more assignments. haha! nah for this week its just comm iss presentation. i'm proud of myself.

i finally got my guitar back from sinamex, and because i trust them to do a good job i didn't check it there. how trusting and naive of me. to my unfortunate-ness (if there's such a word) it was a bloody horrid job. although it looks so freaking nicely done up and filed down, pressing your finger down on the strings feel so good, don't be deceived. cos they freaking filed the bridge down too low that now for the first string on the third fret there's a disgusting metallic buzz with no musical sound or inclination when you play. i'm horrified that they didn't even bother to check the work after they completed it. and even more horrified that if they did they did not do anything to rectify the mistake and passed it off as a job well done. undoubtedly i'm in love with the limited edition 814ce-L10 taylor guitar they sell their but i'm seriously doubting their business ethics. sarah said its high time i got myself a new guitar but unfortunately i don't have the luxury of that much money. i wish though.

okay so i'm still waiting for nicole.

and i've come to a pretty long over due conclusion that you are a bloody pain in the ass. a stuck up prick and a unfeeling bastard that is soo bloody selfish that you can only care for no one but yourself. now that's way long over due.

unfortunately, as sick and perverse it may be... ...

f*** it.

i need to practice social responsibility in censoring my language. i don't use it very often but i'm obviously very pissed off now.

okay. alot of things this past week.

first let me say, sibu was GREAT! the scenery and the peacefulness of the place, soo darn relaxing. i needed that breather. i could use it again.

anyway, i'm officially legally 18! hurrah! *clap hands* the gathering was fun. fooze ball!!! and yes thanks for the cake in my face. i could use smelling my milk vomit. took me 4 washes to get the smell off! okay that's past.

i watched the chronicles of NARNIA!!! i love the show!!! everyone, you MUST watch it. i like peter. i like peter. i like peter. honestly, i don't mind watching it again. hahah! momma mia! hahah!

last thing to note? i love my room now. WHY? its painted mist blue with ashley blue stripes on alternate walls!!!!!!! WHEEE it feels soooo cooling in it!

okay i better get down to work.

i hate you.