announcing the arrival of NOAH NG ZHONG ZHI!

great! he's finally here! he's sooo tiny and cute! and guess who he looks like? SHUA. but no he looks like lebby too! hahah its soo exciting. i guess that's all i have to say for now. i'm kinda not really in a mood for blogging. another time then. ciaos!

i've finished my COMM ISS paper on e-shoppers!!! well cheers!

okay its been a week. time flies. i'm already into week 5 of my second semester of my second year. i'm just about slightly more than a year away from my graduation i hope. well so all i've done in the past week is work and work. fortunate enough for me i had a breather on sunday. I went to grace assembly and the sermon was good - holiness. after the service, poh kwan, von, huiyi and i went out to meet joanne and audrey. had a good time just talking and catching up. and no, we did not go cam whoring. maybe another time. So then after that i went over to huiyi's place. its nice. really nice. her room is cosy and man she has SOOOOO many medals. we relived some secondary school memories.

man i miss those days but i'm also glad that i'm where i am today. But still where i am today? mediocracy, or less than mediocre. so i was walking back with huiyi and i just started to wonder where would i be if i did not go poly. then i remember seeing a prayer that huiyi wrote which she pasted up in her room. The prayer had expressed her fear of failure and had said that even if she fails, she's contend as long as it is in His hands. You know sometimes i wish i could be like her, she has non christian parents but yet she has this faith that i think can stand more than mine. i envy her. i really wish that my walk is right. i try to change, i try to let Him work but somehow it's just not working. maybe it is but i just don't know it yet. sometimes i feel like i got no purpose. i need a purpose. Your purpose.

I've been talking to him alot these days. Honestly, he still makes me laugh. he still makes me smile. despite all that he has done to me. sometimes i blame myself for not being able to hate him. szela, anytime i'd choose someone who can make me laugh rather than someone who can get me excited. excitement is short lived, one day when he calls you won't be excited. but if he can make you laugh, he can always make you laugh again. you know how i imagined passing my 18th birthday which is in exactly a month's time? its not happen. NO its not. and somehow there's an episode of gilmore girls where rory experiences the exact same thing. but no matter how many people around me celebrates it with me, it'd still be lonely. because the person who matters is not there. maybe he wont even remember. maybe i should be a robot. then everytime something goes wrong, i can load a new programme and after loading.... meet the new abigail version 1.18.

eighteen is the .......... loneliest .......... number.

hello everyone there. i've decided not to go through my not o everyday post telling only simply a story but also reflecting on my day. so forgive my random, abrupt changes in topic if there even is one. i'm not much of a reflector anyway.

okay so here it goes.

well, on monday, i woke up for class to reach school aroun 8 to 830 right? and then when i reach there at 810, there's no sign of the lecturer. so yeah i see this girl there waiting. started a convesation with her. so then we kept talking to occupy ourselves and then we kinda realised that mannnn she is late. it was almost 9! then i kinda wondered how many times were we students who were late actually made a lecturer wait like that and feel like we waste their time. i guess we shouldn't be late for lessons then. ahah! DUH.

okay so then i went to catch a movie with a joyce - Just Like Heaven. It's a nice show. very bittersweet. a lil' inclined toward the nicholas sparks style. okay so if anyone wanna know what happens in the end, just remember the movie tagline. only love can bring you back. anyway, the play with lighting and all that was pretty good in enhancing the show. i find there was just nice a touch to the how. i liked it. i think it was a pretty good show - not fantastic but good. The show kinda makes you wonder how love can transcend language or racial differences and all.

well well. then i reached home and i got bored right? i was trying to search for comm iss info for the weird paper on eshoppers. its like... uhuh. global scale is already hard enough... u wanna narrow it down to singapore and malaysia? it's just really difficult to write this kinda research paper. so then i started a convo with him. we talked about stuff. and i realised how much he ha not changed and yet has changed you know what i mean? change is just a funny thing. very funny thing. i guess change is all around every second, every moment but its soooo minute that you don't notice until it hits you hard in your face.

after a long talk with him, i finally decided to get off my ass and go down and borrow a movie to watch. i borrowed 1 bimbo flick(the perfect man), 1 comedy(guess who) and 1 drama(ladder 49). watched one of it and moved on to my new found favourite show project runway. so there's school tomorrow right? so naturally i head for bed after that.

i wake up this morning and i take a deep breath. and then i'm thinking - am i in thailand(pakchong)? or singapore. the air is sooo fresh and i love the smell of it. the cool breeze. fantastic weather. fresh air just makes me happy! i wish the weather could stay like this FOREVER. but then again that would cause a tip in the eco system and then maybe it would be like the day after tomorrow. RIGHT. okay well. i'm inspired to work hard still. cos today they gave out book prizes and there's this new catergory called the director's list which i think you should be able to tell is something like the dean's list. soo its pretty cool and its for the top 10 percent of the students. and i'm aiming for that. shouldn't be that difficult aye? just study and work hard. easier said than done. i think i better get cracking.

friendship's better than nothing.

thursday was a blast. i went for sabrina and jason's ROM. man it was really fun and nice. haha! yeah. the photos were fantastic too. nice ones. hmmm its was kinda nice to see them finally see them MARRIED. they've been waiting for it for ages i know. the photos are uploaded in my imgaestation album: jason and sabrina's ROM.

friday's classes had been routine. just that feat writing is just more entertaining than usual. when we broke up into our magazine project groups we just all had a blast. it was just sooo fun brainstorming. of cos there were alot of lame stuff, alot of laughter.

a shout out to julian aka juju aka juliana aka princess juju - hope you get the starhub thing! all the best and CONGRATS in advance! ahah!

So then what i am doing now is sitting in aunt linna's new house. its fantastic and lovely and WOAH. it sooo nice, i wanna live here. its super NICE. hahaha so huge but still has the homely feel. how nice is that. yeap i just love the house. wheee. anyway i got better things to do now. lol! laters.

during radio i pretended to be a bimbo. then again nicole is gonna say.. gail, you don't have to pretend to be one. you are one. so fine whatever. after radio i headed back home, met beni at the bus stop, chatted for awhile, crossed over to wait for the bus. so then when i was on the bus i remembered, HUIYI! she finishes her a levels today! so i dropped her an sms askign her if she wanted to dine out for dinner and so we rendevous-ed and gem came along too! yeah! i haven't seen them in ages so its kinda quite a BIG thing. so we spoke, and we laughed and we listened.

first we went to gem's place. then to my place. huiyi wanted cds. so thens he got the CDs. gem took my moosey abercrombie shirt. i forgot that i actually planned to wear it on sat. so nevermind. goona meet her on monday again so we can actually exchange clothes. like yeah, i am running out of clothes. so exchanging is a good idea. you get new clothes without spending money. coolness aye? yeapp yeapp.

so then i'm deciding whether or not to go for her birthday bash. cos its like. hmm on a school night. yeah i'm a very good girl. and clubbing ain't really my thing. i'll see about it. yeap. besides i'm underaged cos i'm born grossly late in the year, 29th dec. yeap.

anyway, i'm looking forward to my paycheck?! where is it?!! i need money. badly. not badly, badly. but you know. my guitar is in the hospital? and clothes and phone bill. BAHHH!. come on. and you know what?! i;m sick. in the third week of school. no work and i'm sick?! how sick is that?! like uhuh, WEAK. blah. i used to be strong and FIT. now i'm weak and fat. whatever happened. i tell you what - mass comm happened. sheesh. anyway. i think i should go snooze should i. yea. tata.

one day you'll come running back to me, begging me for forgiveness. and i'll say - i've forgiven you. but what's lost is lost, and cannot be returned.

class today was a total bore. had to listen to her rant on about why we can't do this or that. or rather say listen to her repeat herself, not once but at least five times! okay so then that's that for class.

went bowling today, i not so proudly beat ken in his last game by a mere 6 pins. but he topped the day with a score which is soaring high - 258. 8 strikes and 1 spare in 11 frames. fabulous. the twins were ever so adorable trying to mimick their dad and insisting on wanting to bowl. when they can't even lift the ball. of cos they never got to bowling but they will one day. bah. they wore the baylor shirts today. they looked sooo cute in them. i love them to bits.

okay then i came back home, i did some work and watched project runway. its the only show that's airing on free to air TV that i watch faithfully now. cos they're soo behind in lost and why can't they just show something decent like CSI (not miami) or smallville or maybe angels in america or something. i think the population deserves more than just one fantastic show. okay counting lost 2. bleah.

anyway, its a good thing that robert isn't out of PR. i like him. i hate jay. but unfortunately, he wins this season of PR and robert gets eliminated in episode 8. how sad. bahh. he's kinda good looking you know. ahha! but he's like the most decent guiy around in the show. doesn't come off as a gay, although he might be one, and he seems at least till this point to be the LEAST BITCHY around. bah. i can't wait for next week's episode.

sometimes, i just wish i had cable cos ROME is showing on HBO. and naturally, without cable you don't have HBO. its starting 27th NOV, sun. i think its gonna be an awesome series. another hit, like band of brothers. bleah. i'm soo hung up on TV. it feels weird to have started school and be sooo relaxed. last sem by this time kinda keeping late nights already. oh wells. another long day of lectures ahead of me tommorow. my paycheck is coming in soon. WHEEE! soon soon. oh yeah i sent my guitar into the sinamex guitar hospital!!!! can't wait to get it back!!!! anyway, ciaos. laters.

okay, my sister is off to the sea games.. okay the training camp for the sea games in manila! yeah. she's gonna be gone for like hmmm 3 weeks? all she has to do is to train hard and row hard! all the best sister. go dominate!!! muahahhahaha! right. okay yeah. hope she really does well cos if she doesn't, it would be a real waste. yeap. its kinda cool to have a sister who's in team singapore, and i'm PROUD of it. hahah! for my sister that is... lol! okay you can see that i'm in my crazy mood.

okay so today was boring. of cos, i did up my webd journal. and then there's also the website. well well, of cos the day would be worse if not for the TV. rather say the dvd machine. yeap. we watched the notebook. many of you may not recognise the title, but its another of those nicolas sparks shows. and of cos, his shows are ever so bittersweet. i love it. haha! bahhh... being the "bimbo" i am. lol! as nicole would say.

so then, what's up for now? boredom i hate to say. i'm staring at my beautifully done up webd journal. i like the pictur infront. so serene, yet so intense.

hmmm anyway, guys i got some good stuff to sell. hmmm you see, my uncle flies and he's clearing his liqour collection cos he find he has too much to drink. so i'm selling it. anyway, my purpose is to raise some money for this girl who's a pastor's daughter studying nursing. she has like one more sem to go and she needs about 1000 odd to pay her school fees. so the money kinda goes to her school fees yeah? sooo anyone who fancies good wine or liqour.. its old wines, like hmmm 15 yrs plus and chivas regal which are also about 12 yrs, and some other good stuff from france and all over the world. anyone wanna buy just tag or drop me a line. aye? thanks guys!

i just stumbled upon my old blog.. the xanga one. its kinda weird how you stumble on things. anyway then i came to the part where i wrote my will? it's kinda fun actually reading it and its funny how things change over just a year, or less than that. how much certain people used to mean to you and how much they don't now? or for that matter how much certain people meant NOTHING to you, or you disliked them and how much they mean to you now. so i guess its time i update my will. after all, if i die tmr, i'd don't want my stuff to go to waste. so here it goes.

if i pass on, i, abigail chen jieyi with social security number s8743126f wishes to do with her belongings as follows:-

for fanny:
for you would be all my painstakingly taken sermon notes and notebooks and diaries and my drawings. i believe that you will take very good care of them. all these go to you because you have been such a great friend, and i really appreciate that you've been there listening to me whine and complain and trying to encourage me. so this is for you. together with a HUGE hug. i love you!

for stephie:
for you would be all my clothing, but of cos u'll have to share it with sarah and anna. and also you will get all my songbooks and my make up and accessories. thanks for being my friend and sister. i love you too.

for anna chen:
i know i've been mean alot of times to you. but i still love you, you know i do. so for you, i would bestow my beloved guitar which i'm gonna send to the hospital soon. but of cos if i die before i get the chance to, please give it a decent makeover.

for sarah chen:
you're the youngest. so you don't get alot. but you still get some of my clothes and my bible and my bags. you will also recieve my handphone cos you don't have one. love you too.

okay before i go on, i would like to say this one and for all, i love all you guys, friends and family!

for andrea chen:
you seagamer. i bestow on you my postcard collection. it may not seem like alot but there is alot of artistic stuff in there. and you like art i know. with this together you will also get my tracksuit.

for elizabeth tan:
my dear friend whom i've known since dunno when, i think kindergarten, you will get my laptop. so that you won't have to fight with your sisters over the comp. but in any case you do have a laptop already, you will NOT get it. you will get my nike watch which is now my dressing table clock and you will also get my esprit jacket. the khaki one.

for dad and mum:
whatever remains unclaimed will go to you. thank you for raising and supporting me all these years.

for grace yap:
grace grace grace, for you i have something very special. our marketing report! yes. the one where we scored like 84/100 on! yes, and of cos the locvid tape that i have. afterall, you went through all the crap with me didn't ya? you will also get my trashy and creative and bimbo magazines. i know you'd like them. at least i think you will.

for gary:
you will get my guitar picks cos you are always without a guitar pick. of cos, you will have to play alot of the guitar if i die and please learn and improve. together with that, you will get my movie stub collection, cos soo many of the movies i've watched it with you. hahha! so you get it. and i know you think its cool.

for robin:
robin, you will be bestowed kindly with my very first pair of drumsticks and my believer's guitar books will go to you. i know you are still learning the guitar. you just don't have the time.

for daniel:
you will get the josh groban CD which is technically yours but it came under my possession when you left for the states. that's the only thing you'll get.

for nicole:
dear bimbo friend, you will get nothing but my notes, and books and the projects of year 2.

for sarah grace sulistio:
you will still get my vcds, my posters and a new addition, since you're in china and you can't get any new christian CDs, you will get all the christian CDs that i own that were released after july 2005. that's my parting gift to you. i miss you alot! and your mom too, together with joelle and a lil of christian.

for anna soo:
you will get a portion of my savings so that you can go learn more stuff and improve your guitar skills. i miss you too.

for joanne:
you will get my pierre cardin wallet. believe me, it'll still be in a good condition. that's if i die soon.

for pohkwan:
you will still get my yearbooks.

for pearl:
you will get my advertising notes that we sooo painstakingly studied for together. you will also get my livestrong band, just to remind you to LIVESTRONG. don't give up.

for lynn:
you will get my tennis racket. cos you kindly lent me your when i asked. and you where soo patient with me when i kept forgetting to bring it.

for spencer:
you will get 3/4 of my bank's savings so that you can at least start saving. please work hard.

for miss cheok xueting:
you will still get my brains cos i promised it to you. hahah!

as for the remainder that i have not mentioned, anything that can be donated to third world countries will go to cambodia and thailand.

that's the end of my will.

i'm not rich, so i don't have much to give. i'm sorry to you guys who didn't get nothing. you know its weird. just weird how i thought of dying and it seems like i'm so calm about it. its frightening. i was thinking, what if me writing this will was because i really am going to die. oh wells a frightening thought.

i heard something today that really made me mad. now i know why.

okay i'm temporarily obsessed with vintage, calligraphic stuff. all started by buying a calligraphy marker. don't blame me, blame the co-op for having started to sell so much nich stationery. i know, i'm weird. but you know you need pens and pencils to draw? yeah. and i love doodling. haha! although sometimes its abit ugly huh.. haha! but i admit that the above image has been digitally enhance and altered but its mostly hand drawn by ME! i'm proud of it. well, sooo. i know i can't draw from nuts. i can write manuscripts, i can draw patterns, but i can't draw like things. ask me to draw a chair and it'll turn out like a table. seriously. i'm still puzzled. but i would really love to learn how to draw... like people and stufff.. you know. yeapp you should know. lol! oh wells.

i had PR lessons today. waas kinda fun but a lil awkward in terms of how the class was like literally divided into 2 sections. like us and them. its not that we want to be childish and go like "i don't friend you! hmph!", but just that we can't see eye to eye on many things and i guess its better not to purposely get together to create a cat fight... i mean afterall.. "where it is poosible with thee, make peace with all man".. i know it came from the bible, but i dunno where. so i guess not very wise you know... uhuh. yeap. so then headed down to church and went on a calligraphy frenzy.

i have decided to work on my stomach muscles so that i can try to loose that flab and love hangers. i seriuosly find it unpleasant to the eye. VERY. its an eye sore... to me at least. bahhh.

i'm becoming more like a sheeep. hahah! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! right. so then. anyway andrea(mysis) is sitting beside me and she's like studying. okay i just felt like telling whoever is reading that she is studying. RIGHT. lol!

brutally honest.

i've decided that i wanna do well this sem. i am aimming for a GPA of 3.2. of cos that means i'll have to at least get ALL Bs. so that's my goal for this sem. i mean that's what u're supposed to do when you start school right? set goals.

well, i have a feeling feature writing is going to be a blast for me. not that i aspire to be a journalist or what.. (i still wanna do advertising after the hell i went through last sem) but i just like the idea of writing features. maybe because i like reading them. so that's the most anticipated module of this sem.

webd seems like its going to be all hell breaking loose cos of the expectations. after seeing the previuos work done by other sem students, the bar has been raised way above where i am so its really gonna be difficult, but its still a challenge isn't. that's what i'm up for.

anyway, i don't know what else to say, cos in the past few days you've been the only thing on my mind.

i finally have a nice new CD.
david crowder band - a collision

i like it. its beautiful. very cool too. the "tagline" of the CD is "when our depravity meets His divinity it is a beautiful collision". i love it, love it, love it. don't you?

well. today was kinda fun. woke up early and finally went to IKEA for breakfast in a long time. i like the tea there, its NICE. i know, its kinda weird - tea. lol! after that i went to meet grace! yeahhh!! grace YAP! we went shopping... like really shopping... like ffrom shop to shop. saw some really nice stuff. but good thing i didn't bring much money so i couldn't buy. that's good you know. if not i would not know how much i would have spent today. so then we went walking and talking then she had to go, so we went out ways... that's when i decided to go to PS to check out on a VCD and the david crowder CD... soooo glad that i did. now i have my david crowder CD!!! yay!!! so then i went down to jurong point to meet my momma and my younger sis and we bought like... hmmm BRAS? hahah! sorry guys... haha. then i found out my mom was not gonna pay for me... so i have to pay her back.. makes me even more broke than i already am. so then the more broke than ever me headed together with everyone else to the ng's place... and yeahhhh that's where the twins, my darling twins are... so we stayed there for a bit and we moved back home... and then i got really moody.

fleeting moments. irreplaceable.

wow. i find it wildly amusing that... (10 amusing facts ... to me, with roman numerical count. WOW?!)

i) i'm talking to him now
ii) if noah is born on 29 nov, there will be a 29th clan. noah, me and the twins
iii) there's a 1st clan in the church. dan, jason and robin
iv) i'm actually sitting here watching the king and i, which is by the way getting more and more boring
v) i thought robin had double eyelids, then thought i found out that he didn't, then found out that he has double eyelids.
vi) there's actually a scissors, paper, stone website
vii) i'm trying to amuse myself
viii) i'm still talking to him... like a proper coversation for 1 hr?
ix) there's actually such a dumb show as DOOM, and robin actually went to watch it
x) i'm fat. i know its not very amusing... more like... disturbing

school's starting like for real. lol! and i want to jsut get down to work just so that i can occupy myself. cos i dun wanna be occupied with something else, or someone else. you know another thing i find wildly amusing is that, i still haven't gotten over him. i still wonder if i mean anything to him. okay maybe i should just stop dwelling on it. and maybe it'll just disappear. you know what i mean? blah. i should just shut up. okay shut up abigail. but i must say this... i still miss him. i think i said this a thousand times before.

i told a racist joke against malays today... on hari raya. how mean. bleah. that's my confession for today.

well, twins are so nice to be around. they just infect you with their smiles. anyway lebs has measles. poor guy. but anyway its good he has it now, he will never get it again so whee. maybe josh caught it, but we ain't that sure. anyway we brought lebs over to kk just to make sure. hope he has jsut mild measles or the poor guy. well well.

i've gotta go exercise. seriously. i hate being fat. okay to all those fatter ple out there i'm sorry. but i just cannot stand the feeling of being fat. it really is disturbing. it kinda disgusts me. bleah. so i'm gonna do something bout it. okay i'm going for a run and a swim tmr. so yeah. get some exercise. i'm aiming for my 2.4 km run next year's napfa (however you spell that) to be in 10 mins. another aim is next yr's standard chartered and hopefully nike real run. wow. okay. i shall work towards that. okay jsut people convince me that i can do it. lol!

just a foot note: i miss you... still

so much for school. its been alternate days i've been to school, and its been fun. haha! finally back to school! how exciting! monday was so-so. after IS lesson, we went down to KAP MAC to discuss a few event ideas. it was a hilarious discussion with a few X-rated ideas which a little over elaborated by sue en and sophia. hahah! but its was fun and some good came out of it. like the popcorn stand hahah! yeap.and macdonalds being out sponsors. like okay dude. we were going high on orange juice, tea and maple syrup. lol!

then today after the one hr lesson which we came for. like... okayyy practical was cancelled and we came only for theory of PR. like right... one pathetic hour. so then after that we had lunch and talked for so much sharing stupid stories and jokes. then we broke up... and szela was going to meet bong right, then she like called me and said the bong just "dumped" her. so back she came. and instead of going out, we ended up sitting in the atrium talking alot of crap and telling alot of lame jokes. it was a blast, the four of us, aggie, nic, szela and i. oh wells. then i just headed down to church. tmr's a hol again anyway.

then i heard about some stuff from somebody, and it really got me upset. its just weird how you can make me flip despite how far away you are. you once asked me what i'd do without you and i just answered life would just go on fine. but now, you have your answer. how is life without you, this is what i am. this is what i am.