why must you do this to me. everytime i try to forget you, you suddenly come back into my life. it hurts. i shall be brutally honest with myself and you. your unresonable comments over the past few months has made me wonder but then i realise that i am who i am, what am i. infront of you, i pretend your comments don't matter and just laugh it off . you just make me seem so insignificant and so freaking bad... like i'm the scum of the earth. i hate you for that. but then again i can't bring myself to hate you. so all i can do is sit here and be angry at myself. i do not need to take all this from you. adding to my alrady heavy work load, to my already sleepless nights, to my already battered mind, to my already torn down self regard. i DO NOT need all this crap from you. but i'm still holding on to that hope when i know i should let go. i don't know if you've made a better me or if you have destroyed me. can you leave me once and for all. although it would hurt. but at least you'll be gone and i'll have my time to forget. i think its sooo much more better that way. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. get out of my life. i don't you to give me more of what i can't handle anymore. GET LOST and LEAVE ME ALONE. i was right at the beginning. you are a jerk. they were all correct. i can't believe i distrusted all the people closest to me just to trust you. you're not worth my trust. NO, not even one bit. i feel i've been lied to for the past year. i really don't need anymore of this. i'm too tired.