omega

Yes, i've finally come to the end of a 3 year long quest to get my diploma. today i have submitted my very last assignment ever as a student of mass communications at ngee ann polytechnic. and as usual the anticipation/excitement is way more than the actual thing in itself. i'm gonna miss the lame jokes of agnes koh. and man as fast as the 5 months did pass, so did the past 3 years. i've already missed the company of friends like grace, lynn, megan, pearl, reka, nicole, agnes, darren, yawen, liz, yisze. notice darren if you see this ever that you're the only guy in that list. honoured? hahah okay whatever. i know what you're thinking. dun even say it. nicole you too.

oh wells. and so everyone is like asking me.... "so abi/gail/abigail what are you gonna do?" i tell them i'm not sure, i don't have plan and what not. made me really think. maybe i'm an escapist. cos i seem to wanna run from everything. or maybe deep down i'm just so afraid of starting something and failing. going to uni is not an option for me. financially and realistically. why the hell would i wanna get a degree in design or photography. UNLESS its neurology that i'm gonna study. but what's the point in chasing degrees? all it is is a cert and at the end of the day its not even that that counts. i mean its not like a degree will ensure you one foot in the door of heaven. i mean if its does by all means. it's all about means to an end isn't it. and a degree is not the means to the end i wanna be at. if at all getting a degree might get me further from my end. so what's in a degree or that piece of paper? money?

so i'm going to Israel for sure. dunno the exact dates yet but yups i am going to sojourn the holy land. hahah that's exciting. i can't wait to go honestly. it'lll be one hell of an experience. and the photos... oh yeah. hahah!

anyways, i'm onto a new show called HEROES. hahha. so damn bloody cool. hahahs. in fact i'm gonna watch it when i finish this post. i also finished another jodi picoult book called keeping faith. i did not really like that ending but the book is a good book as jodi picoult's other books. this explores religion and faith. it's a very daring book i would say. and then i finished "if you could see me now" by cecelia ahern. that book was very fun and bittersweet. imaginary friends. that was what it was about. actually both books dealt with imaginary friends. well i'm a BOOKWORM!!!!! hahah. proud of that.

I like this extract in Keeping Faith.... its the conversation Faith's mother had with God when Faith had her second major hospitalization.

'You,' I say, anger clawing its way up my chest.
'She isn't in pain.'
'Do you think it makes it all right?' I shout.
'Believe in what i'm doing'.
I cannot trust myself to answer right away. I think of Ian, of what he has said about God. 'How can i believe in You,' i whisper, 'when you would do this to a little girl?'
'i'm not doing it to her, i'm doing this for her.'
'semantics don't make much of a difference when you're about to die'
For a while God sits on the edge of my bed smoothing (His) hand over the covers and leaving behind a silver patina, like the gilding of great ages gone by. 'Did you ever consider,' she says softly, finally, 'that i know what it feels like to loose a child?'

that's it. FINITO.

quote of the day?
When God said "jump", Abraham asked... "how high?"
--Ian Fletcher in Keeping Faith.